Expert: Dan Smith - 2/27/2005

Question
Hi Dan,

The second sentence in the following example is a pattern I find myself writing (and agonizing over) frequently.

[Quotation marks removed since they don't appear to go through the system correctly.  ]

But Elizabeth doesn't respond. Instead, she heads for the suitcase and, suddenly, Justin stops talking.

I believe that the correct punctuation is:

Instead, she heads for the suitcase, and, suddenly, Justin stops talking.

The rule being to "Join two independent clauses either with a comma and a coordinating conjunction . . ." * Which we can easily see if we remove the suddenly:

Instead, she heads for the suitcase, and Justin stops talking.

The problem, in my opinion, is that the correct punctuation creates unnecessary emphasis on the and.

So my question is:

Is that comma between suitcase and and optional? Or, if not, am I making too big deal out of it? (Analogous to people not really noticing he said, she said in fiction?)

Or are there other alternatives I should consider?

If you can help me with this, you will be saving me countless hours of unnecessary stress throughout my future writing life. :)

Thanks.

Michael

* The Borzoi Handbook for Writers, 1985, p. 125


Answer
I don't think it gives too much emphasis to the and.

I think you're making way too big a deal of it. There may be other alternatives now and then, however. Consider them as opportunities arise, and relax. You can't get to too-far-wrong from here.

Hope this helps.