Expert: liznarr - 1/22/2007

Question
Hello and Happy New Year

I am 30 years old single male from Detroit, MI. I live with my 2 siblings and our mother. I make about $1000 only per month from my current job, my sister makes about $2000 per month, my brother used to make $2000 also, but he quit his job and he is unemployed now because he wants to finish his college education, and he expects to stay unemployed for the next one to 2 years until he graduates. My mother and sister own the present home that we are living in now; they bought this home 6 years ago for $144 K. I always used to pay my mother and sister $500 only every month to help for house mortgage and general house expenses. Every one of us used to pay a small portion, so we can cover all bills and mortgage payments and general house expenses; as a result, I was able to save $40,000 only so far for myself, I was able to take one vacation out of state every year, and I was able to buy a nice car for 6K. Notice that if I was living by myself, I would have no ability or I would had a little chance for doing what I did so far through living with my family, who have been helping me and each other all the past few years. Living with my 2 siblings and mother have helped me and gave me the opportunity to have lots of fun, and to save some money.  

  Now I am having a big dilemma because I need to get married and start a family, I need to start living my own life, but my income of $1000 per month will not allow me to buy a home and be independent because I will not be able to pay all house expenses by myself. The options that I have created for myself are:

--- Try selling our current house, buy a bigger house, and keep living with my siblings and mother while trying to start a new family with my wife in the same house. In this way I will have several people working and continue helping each other out, just like we were always doing together in the past, but the problem here is I might not be happy this way because if I start a new family, I will need to live separately by myself outside of my mother�s house. From my previous experience and other people experiences, I learned that when 2 families or more try to live in the same house, then problems and conflicts start to happen, and bad energy of one person tends to effect every member of the family in one home, so I want to avoid that by living independently which I am not able to do because of my low income level. You might say just work 2 jobs or get a better job that pays more money, but economy and job market is getting very bad in Michigan; we have a bad recession now going on that is effecting even college graduates who got bachelor degrees, and for me is worse because I have just high school diploma with no college degree.

--- My other option is to live alone with my wife through renting an apartment, but in this way I will burn and loose too much money, I will spend more money, I will pay more for bills, I will not be able to save anything, and an income of $1000 per month will not be able to support me and my wife unless she try to work and assist me too, and even if she work, can an income of $2000 per month pay all what have to be paid?

  I have some married friends who tell me that if I need to live in my own house with my wife, I have to be making at least $4000 per month. Is there anyway I will be able to support a family of 2 or 3 with making an income of between $1000 and $2000 each month? Does the government provide any type of assistance for those low income families?

Sincerely;  

Answer
Hi Fars,

Wow, you have some important decisions to make.  I wish there were a simple answer for you.

I am not a counselor, but I think you have already zeroed in on a potential problem of buying a bigger house and continuing to live with your family AND your future wife.  It would be a RARE exception for two families to live under the same roof without problems surfacing sooner or later.

For starters, I would ask your future wife what SHE thinks of the options you outlined.  If you continue your current living arrangement, you are not bound to any long-term commitment.  “IF” your future wife were willing to try this, have an understanding that it would only be a temporary arrangement until your income (and your wife’s if she will be working) is sufficient to live comfortably and pay bills for your own, separate home.  Keep in mind, however, that if a conflict should arise, you may decide to move out sooner rather than later … and you would want to have an alternate plan of action ready to put into effect.

Some states do have loans with lower interest rates for persons with lower incomes and who otherwise qualify.  I checked online for you, and here is a link to the Michigan State Housing Authority:
http://www.michigan.gov/mshda

I notice also that this site has a “Renter’s Assistance” program, which would give you access to lower rents.  Go to the bottom of the page on the link above for additional links, including a directory of subsidized housing and lenders.

I can tell from your letter that you are a very conscientious individual, and you are very smart to be thinking and planning ahead for your own family.  I commend you for this.  

Have you considered going back to school to be able to get a better-paying job?  If so or if not, look into your State Vocational Rehabilitation Offices in Michigan for opportunities to train for a better career.  Depending on your circumstances, a Voc Rehab program might even pay for your tuition and books, and you might be able to find a night or weekend schedule for starters.  

It will take perseverance, drive and ambition to carry this off in addition to working and a new wife, but you sound like the type person with enough determination to do it.  The payoff for the rest of your life would be worth some sacrifice now.

Good luck to you, and feel free to write again with additional questions.

Regards,
Elizabeth