Expert: Jill Connor, Ph.D. - 10/23/2008

Question
I have a 4 yr old German Shepherd/Siberian husky mix that I adopted December 2007 from an animal rescue.  Since having him in our home he has yet to play with any dog toys, chase a ball, cuddle or wrestle with you etc.  When you pet him he wags his tail and puts his paws over his face (cute) but if you start to hug and love him, he gets up and walks away from you. We have a huge fenced yard which he does nothing with. You throw a tennis ball at him and he runs into the house. He does like to rub all over the grass and then lay in the sun. He is just now starting to dig a little in the dirt. He also has escaped the yard a couple of times to go on his walk by himself! He is very vocal and likes to talk. He has to be walked 3 times a day and will whine if not taken out for a walk. He loves his walks and seeing people and some other dogs. He has had play dates with other dogs which after about 30 minutes he goes off and sits by himself. He does not like little dogs. We have a 3 yr old cat we adopted at the same time. She rules the house and harasses him at times but they generally get along fine.  I get the impression that he always seems like we are punishing him. When adopted we were told he was a people dog and loved to play and will be your best buddy. He is very healthy. It’s heartbreaking not to be able to hug this dog or play with him. What do you think is the problem.

Answer
First and FOREMOST: do NOT allow this dog in the yard ALONE.  Escaping is a huge problem, and most likely how he ended up in the animal rescue to begin with.  If your yard is not adequately fenced, replace the fence or add height to it.  This dog does NOT deserve to be hit by a car and die in some ditch, nor does he deserve another round with animal control.  The largest "problem" you have is his escape issue.

Dogs need to learn to "play" with toys; interacting with play objects is not a natural behavior to the domestic dog.  Additionally, his avoidance of being "hugged" is a NATURAL BEHAVIOR.  Hugs are (to a dog) a display of DOMINANCE.  Dogs need to be TAUGHT that "hugs" are "love" from an early age; some dogs adapt to this human display of affection.  If you offer a small, special treat when you hug him, he may learn to accept this behavior from you in the way in which you intend it.  Many dogs never learn to accept this behavior from humans; some respond with aggression.  You have a VERY KIND and NICE dog who is doing his very best to please you.  Yet you seem to have conditions, behaviors you expect, that the dog is unable to offer.  People who adopt from rescue organizations and municipal shelters need to understand that they WILL NOT GET the proverbial "lassie".  These dogs have ISSUES.  That is why they are in the situation of rescue or "shelter" to begin with.  Just as you would with any human counterpart (HOPEFULLY), you must learn to accept this dog as HE IS, NOT as you would HAVE HIM TO BE.  He sounds like a dog I'd be glad to have in my home, as would many people.  LOVE HIM for who he IS.  Because he won't chase a ball for you (after all, he's not a Labrador Retriever!) or has problems cognitively evaluating human affection does NOT make him unworthy.  By the way: wrestling with ANY dog is a huge no-no; this dog is a naturally subdominant member of his species.  Wrestling is a test of rank.  A dog that won't participate in this behavior has: never experienced it (first) and (second) is reacting normally, vis a vis, he acknowledges your "rank" (or he wouldn't tolerate your hugs) and refuses to participate in this activity because of that.

If you want to interact with your dog in a loving manner, learn about positive reinforcement training.  Go to Karen Pryor's web site or read Patricia McConnell Ph.D., Ian Dunbar, John Rogerson and John Fisher.  Learn to read his body signals (that's how dogs communicate); teach him one behavior at a time that he can perform for praise/reward (and in doing so, PLEASE YOU.)  Make him a legitimate member of your family and stop trying to obtain stereotypical behaviors from him.  If you feel you can't offer this dog a loving, calm, patient and lifelong home, return him to the rescue and give him the chance to find one.