Expert: Taylor Sheppard - 2/9/2008

Question
QUESTION: I really want to get back into acting.I live in the uk.I am 22years old and although i did drama at school and played a role in every school play, i have no other experience,the other problem is i fell pregnant at 18(had a boy)and then went     
on to have twin girls and my dreams of becoming an actress i got pushed out.I want to know how i can train to become an actor without disrupting my kids lives.I know its a hard industry to break into.I'll always but wondering what if,and i don't want to live my life like that.
Thank you
Leoni x

ANSWER: Hi Leoni,

Life is what happens while you are making other plans...John Lennon.

Says it all, right?
Unfortunately you have an uphill battle here. Your kids didn't ask to be born, they came along because of choices you made. I am not trying to be hard, but acting is a dicey business and yes, it is hard to break into. You may not be on a course to do much about it as a young woman, but that doesn't mean you can't do it, even if later in life. I am thinking specifically of Dame Judy Dench, who I believe, wasn't an ingenue, but attained great success at a later age. If you were to pursue this at a cost to your kids and didn't make it, would you regret that you didn't devote yourself to them?
When you have children, they have to be your priority. No need to inflict the world with screwed up kids because you wished to do your own thing instead. Here in America we unfortunately have prisons, pyschiatrist's office and cities full of them!

I am not trying to be harsh, but you didn't mention any kind of support system in your question. Do you have a husband or in-laws or parents that would be supportive while you took evening classes to get where you need to be to be an actor? I have an ex-girlfriend who does theater and she has very little support, but when her kids were young, I would watch them to help while she was at rehearsals. Thing is, she isn't very active these days, because she is a single mom and although she has a boyfriend and child support, she still has to make money at a "serious" job that drains time and energy. If you are a famous actress and decide to be a mommy, you have the luxury of having nannies to help out.

My advice is to take classes if you can, provided there is a support system that will allow, and bide your time until you are a little free to pursue things. That way you aren't starting out from square number 1 when the time comes. Also, count your blessings. As I have said here in the past, I made sacrifices to get as far as I have. I have had many many girlfriends who blew me off because they wanted and believed that the man must "take care of them" and were angry when I wouldn't drop my silly dream and toil away unhappily at a desk  to buy them lots of shoes and fancy houses. I don't have any children and wish that I had, but I wouldn't give this up for anything, so here I am. I made my bed.

If you truly love acting, don't give up on doing it, just find a way to be involved as much as you can. If you are just hoping to win the "acting lotto" and cash in: please, don't take that bet.

Best,
Taylor

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks for your reply.i'm sorry i didn't include more information in my first email.I do have a partner who could take care of the kids,i apologize if i made it seem that i regret having my kids,i don't.i love my kids to bits they are the best thing that could of happened to me,i just don't want to disrupt there lives if i do pursue my dreams.
Thanks again

Answer
Hi again, Leoni,

I wasn't trying to imply that you don't love your kids, I have yet to meet a mom that feels otherwise. But at the same time, I hear the wistfulness in their voices that they wish things had played out much later with the children. I'm glad you have a support system, with or without kids, it is nice when someone is there to back you up. Life can be trying at times!

I look forward to seeing your name in lights!

Best to you,

Taylor