Expert: Wanda Reinholdt - 3/16/2008

Question
Hi my name is matthew. I have wanted to be an actor all my life, but my first goal was always to finish school. Im affraid i should have started earlier. i don't know. But this is my dream and i want to make is a reality. I want to be in motion pictures and become well known. I want to make my family proud. I have so many questions but i don't want pile all of this on you at one time. Im 18 years old, and write now im so stressed and confused on what to do. Im thinking of moving to los angelas hoping for a better chance. I don't know how to get noticed. I want experience before i move and some good training perhaps. But i don't know if im doing it right or what. I sit at the computer for hours apon hours studying and researching, and now i want to put it to use. Can you give me some advice please i would so much appreciate it. Thank you

Answer
Hey Matthew...And thanks for writing.  

Having a dream is good.  It's what you do with that dream that is important.  Let me see if I can help you.  

First of all, I want to encourage you to breathe deeply.  Whenever you think of your dream, instead of getting all stressed out about it, breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth and think about something in your life that you are really enjoying right now or a person you love or something that makes you happy.  The less stressed you are about life, the better the choices you will make.  

Keep practising going to a calm place.  The stress you are feeling is a CHOICE.  You are making a choice to be stressed.  Let's not stay there.  Let's make a choice to relax.  It's all ok.  

ONLY MOVE TO THIS STEP WHEN YOU ARE RELAXED:  Next, write down goals that will help you finish your school and to finish well.  That is a VERY important goal.  Never sacrifice school (especially high school) for any career.  It is not a good choice. Promise yourself that you are going to finish well and go out and do it (while you are breathing and relaxing).

ONLY MOVE TO THIS STEP WHEN YOU ARE RELAXED: Next, breathe in and breathe out while telling yourself that where you are in your life is good.  By beating yourself up for not starting earlier, you are defeating yourself.  Lots of people have started careers later in life and have done well.  You have got to relax about the timing of this.  

ONLY MOVE TO THIS STEP WHEN YOU ARE RELAXED:  Next, breathe deeply in and out and think about why it is you want to be an actor.   I know you say you want to be noticed.  But is that the only reason?  I know you say you love it but is that the only reason?   What I am trying to get you to do is to get in touch with a deeper reason, a reason that is other directed.  A reason that will keep you moving when things are tough.  Honestly, if you just want to be noticed and you just want to do it because you think you love it, you will be disappointed very quickly.  It takes persistence and commitment and a goal that is beyond being famous or money or power to keep one motivated in this business.  Your HEART must have a reason.  

Once you are in touch with this reason, then we can proceed to the next step.

I am very willing to walk with you about this.  IF YOU MAKE A CHOICE to change how you are handling this idea and dream, we can move to the next step.  It's your call.

Does that help?

Wanda