Expert: Phil Nemy - 5/4/2006

Question
I want to thank you for your honest opinion.

I am sure I am a bit lost, as far as direction in life, finding myself, etc. Acting has always been something I've wanted to do, but just never believed it was possible. I am taking this quite seriously, and very prepared to give up anything to have this as my career.

As far as appearance goes, (no offense taken) I am not..how you say, totally out of the loop. I have a great face, I just need to put some effort into being thin again. Although I have always had low self-esteem, I have never truly considered myself ugly. I don't want to say I'm not worried about that, because I am, not that it will affect my chances so much, but actually if I can do it.

It's more about motivation to make myself look like I can look, and I just don't do.

As far as training goes, I am in no way prepared to hop in a plane and just land in LA. I need training I want to learn. But as far as NYU, Columbia, Carnegie Mellon, etc. go I lost my chance to get in there when I didn't apply straight out of hs. I have good grades. 3.0, I'm not spectacular but I do well. But I don't have a portfolio, and I need help with the audition process. You audition to a school to get in and learn how to perform. I'm starting from square one. I'm not afraid of the audition, and I read a lot of requirements for auditions saying they would rather have students who are not coached so they can see natural ability.

It isn't about making money or being the leading lady. I will strive for that because it is important to strive for the best, the top thing. I will not be disappointed, if I am acting. Famous or not, that isn't what is important.

One last quick question as far as majors go, I don't know how I feel about theater. I love theater, but I don't know as if I would want to act professionally on stage. Most people I've researched majored in theater before moving on to film and television. Is that the way to go?

Thanks again,

Kelly

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Followup To
Question -
I read someone's question from sometime ago, titled "Is it too late?" concerning her starting an acting career at 30. I'm not 30, I'm 21...but have put in enough time trying to be something I'm not. I spent a few years at college doing something I hated, and have never been able to figure out where my life is going.

I've always wanted something big, I've dreamed of being an actress, not just because of the fame..but because when you watch television or a movie and connect with the story, get inspired, cry, laugh, feel something, it can make your life just a little bit better. I want to be able to do that. Unfort. my dreams are not small. While I do not need to be the next Julia Roberts, I want to be known for doing it well.

Besides the point, I am in a rut. I never actually thought I could ever move to LA and become an actress. One day not too long ago I just asked myself, "why not?" I have given myself a year, to get it together, and then I am going to California to go back to college and study theater/drama/acting.

The downside, I do not have the look. I have a lot of work to do as far as my appearance goes..which is one of the reasons I never believed I had a chance.

I guess my question is, is it impossible? I know the percentages, and how much the odds are against me...but I can't stay and settle for a life that makes me unhappy.

I am prepared to give everything up for this. My life, my job (which I really won't be sorry about), my live-in boyfriend of three years. I am at a point where everyone expects me to be married by next year, and being normal and dependable. But I can't do it, I feel like I have almost thrown my dreams away because I didn't major in what I wanted to major in, and did not go to school where I wanted to. I didn't pursue this further. I have no training, but I am not going to give up.

I've been reading a lot on actors/actresses that are in tv and how they got their starts...I guess you need to be in the right place at the right time.

Everyone on here asks the same thing..what chance do I have? I need to know where do I start once I get there? Good schools for acting (that will take transfer credit), places to go, how to start...I don't care if I have to live out of a suitcase forever...at least I could say I tried.

Kelly
Answer -
Kelly,

Thanks for writing. And thanks for your incredibly honest and passionate story. I have a few thoughts about what you've shared.

First of all, if you're really 21, then you are NOT at point where ANYONE should expect you to be married by next year! If you're 21, your life is just beginning! See the world! Explore things that interest you, experience life! You can get married 10 years from now and still be fine! AND still have enough time to have children if that is one of your goals. So tell those people who are pressuring you to get married to take a flying leap!

The thing that struck me most about what you shared is this. And forgive me if I overstep my bounds by being as candid with my thoughts as I intend to be - I do not mean to offend, truly. But I get the sense that you're lost. Not lost about how to get your acting career started, I mean lost spiritually. I get the sense that you are defining who you are by being an actress, that if you don't puruse acting, you won't know what to do next with your life.

I encourage you to really think about this. Who are you? Who is the authentic Kelly? Are you really in touch with your authentic self? When I left Disney to pursue the next step in my career, producing my own projects, I wasn't quite prepared for some of the realities that would set in. Since I was no longer a studio executive, and I wasn't a producer at the success level of a Scott Rudin or Jerry Bruckheimer, the telephone stopped ringing. It was a shock for me. I got depressed. I slowly began to realize that I identified who I was by the job I had, or the career I had. But in reality, that wasn't who I was. I had tricked myself into believing that was who I was. I placed all my value and sense of self on what I did for a living. It was the wrong answer.

Once you discover who you are, you may discover that you don't NEED to be an actor. Instead, you may discover that you enjoy acting, and you'll enjoy being cast in stage work, films, etc. But you may find that there is something else you'd rather do that will give you greater joy and satisfaction.

It's important that you understand this because, truly, the chances that you will EVER be able to make a living SOLELY from acting is almost nil. In addition, you claim that your "look" needs a lot of work which means that you are probably not a leading lady type but a character type. That's not a Julia Roberts.

Purusing acting is a rough life because 1) you're ALWAYS in pursuit of a dream, 2) you generally live a low-income life, and 3) the chances of you ever making it successfully are slim.

Now, knowing all of this, if you still want to pursue an acting career, then I would suggest you enroll in a professional actors training program at schools like Carnegie Mellon University, Julliard, NYU, Webster College, etc. Learn the basics of the craft of acting for the stage as it is the foundation of all good acting. With that foundation, you can modify your skills and techniques for film and TV. THEN, and only THEN, do you move to Los Angeles and begin pursuing your career. The training programs at USC and UCLA are good, but they aren't the best like the other schools I mentioned.

Finally, my book, GET A REEL JOB, offers a lot of solid advice. Check it out and see what you think. You can order it through www.reeljob.net or through amazon.com.

I hope this helps.

Phil

Answer
Kelly,

Just so you know, you have NOT loss the opportunity to attend schools like Carnegie Mellon, Julliard, etc. The average age of a student in most professional actor training programs is 25. They WANT students who are older and not right out of college because they tend to be the most SERIOUS students, people who REALLY want to learn the craft. So don't count yourself out there.

You say you will not be disappointed if you are acting. What I was trying to explain to you is the reality of pursuing a career in acting: the majority of the time you WON'T be acting, you'll be trying to get an audition just to convince people that you're right for the role. And in film and TV it isn't so much about do you have talent as much as it is about whether you "look" like the part, at least the way the director thinks the part should look. You continue to work as an actor if you have talent, or if you have a great agent, or if you have a look. But without the look in Hollywood, you can forget a steady a career. So if you're only happy acting, then joing a circus because at least there, you'll be acting ever night. The reality is that if you're really, really lucky, you'll get one paid acting job each year. And that one job, if you're really, really lucky, will pay you about $5000. That's the reality for most actors. The few who are solid working actors have been working at it for 20 or more years and are barely able to support themselves and their family after 20 or more years solely from acting. I just want to make sure you know what you're up against.

As far as theatre, my opinion is that the best actors in the world are the one's that began in the professional theatre, trained in the professional theatre, and continue to work from time to time in the professional theatre. Pacino, Duvall, Hoffman, Newman, and on and on, ALL trained in the professional theatre. More film and TV actors are returning to the professional theatre now more so than ever before. Acting for the stage IS the foundation of all acting whether it's film, radio, television, internet, etc. You don't have to love the stage and expect to make your life on it, but you need to understand and master its craft if you want to be considered one of the better actors in the profession. There is an intimacy and immediacy to theatre that cannot be matched by any other medium. If you screw up in a scene in film or TV, well, you just do it again until you get the shot right. In theatre, you MUST be on the game at ALL times - you CAN'T screw up because it's LIVE, it's REAL. An actor must TRULY understand the emotions of the character, what makes him/her tick in order for that performance to be real each and every night. That's the magic of acting for the stage. If you can master that, you can master film and TV.

Good luck!

Phil