Expert: Jason Grabill - 2/10/2008

Question
QUESTION: My 18 year old daughter, upon turning 18, enlisted in the Marines DEP.  When filling out the Meps form, she lied about her migraine headaches and answered no.  Her recruiter was aware of her condition (it has been chronic since she was 2 1/2 years old) and he told her to lie, the penalty would be a fine.  She has missed much because of this condition, including work and school.  She is an excellent student, went originally to the recruiters off ice to ask about going to college ROTC and he turned her around to enlisting in the marines as a means to her end of working with the FBI.  Her dad and I confronted her last night when we realized this was a disqualifier for joining the marines, she would at least have to apply for a waiver, and she admited she lied on the MEPS form and that her recruiter knew she was doing it and encouraged her to do so.
My problem is, first of all, if she were to get in and found out, she would face a dishonorable discharge and this would ruin her life.  What do I tell her to do or what can be done at this point.  She is not a person to lie to get what she wants, however, if she is found out, and it will happen, her medical records are very extensive about her migraine history, they usually come about when she gets her period, they are quite painful and she needs to take Imitrex (migraine medicine) when she gets them.  They have at times been debilitating and she needs to sleep for a good 24 hours straight in a quiet, dark room.  Will the MEPS doctor ask for medical records when she goes up for her enlistment physical?  There is no hiding this problem, stress and fatigue also bring it on and I know there is a lot of that in the military.  Help, please I want her to do the right thing, but right now the recruiter has her convinced to do likewise and he has a tremendous amount of control and power over her thinking.

ANSWER: Barbara:

 No, the MEPS doctors won't ask for her medical records, but she needs to come clean with them.  This is likely a DQ for enlisting in the military, since migraines of this sort of severity have to be treated with meds, rest, etc.   Obviously, in the military, that's not really an option.

 While she may be able to get through MEPS, eventually, one of these things are going to nail her, and then the truth will come out.  When it does, she'll be discharged for 'Fraudulent Enlistment' into the military.  It won't be on the recruiter, it will be on her.  She can be charged and prosecuted for this, and it could result in a Bad Conduct or Other than Honorable discharge.  

 Lastly, with a condition like this, she is a danger to herself and other members of the military.  She needs to put her own wants/desires aside for a minute and think of that.  That's why this condition is a disqualifier for enlistment.

 Again, the penalty is NOT "a fine", it's a bad discharge that will follow her.............FOREVER.   

 So, she can try MEPS and tell them the history, and get honorably disqualified for service.  Yes, honorably, because she at least tried to do the right thing, but the condition is no fault of her own.  No one will fault her for that later on.  But lying about it and getting caught will be all her.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you so much for your quick and honest reply.  She really wants to go into the Marines, but I know this condition will prevent this.  Do I confront her recruiter, call the MEPS office on him, or just hope she very shortly comes to her senses and either has the recruiter contact MEPS for a correction (she also had some counseling for a family matter - nothing bad, but I noticed there was also a question on that and I'm sure she answered no).  I was wondering why she abruptly stopped going to him-the recruiter knew she was going and he actually contacted the Therapist and lashed out at him verbally.  She is a great kid with the right motives at heart and I just don't know how much involvement I should inject myself in this or just hope and pray she does the right thing right away.  Again, thank you for your insight and information.  It has been more than helpful.

ANSWER: Barbara:

 It sounds like you have her best interests at heart.  That having been said, unless she comes clean with MEPS it's going to cause her problems if she does get enlisted.  You have a hard choice to make but I'd be having harsh words for that recruiter, since he had NO right to call the therapist.   I think I'd be making contact with his boss.   I am pro-recruiter and pro-military, and will defend them (recruiters) to the 'nth' degree, but this one is giving the good recruiters a bad name, if he/she has done what you've said.  Not only that, he/she is putting the lives of fellow Marines (and your daughter) in danger by attempting to enlist her, when she isn't qualified, and interfering with her treatment.

 Make a phone call to the station NCOIC and ask to speak with him/her in private to express your concerns.  That would be my suggestion.

 All the best,

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you again for your response and help.  The NCOIC is complicit in this, he is aware of her migraines as well as the Staff saergent who has been her recruiter.  She is totally brainwashed now, believes she can go 5 years without a migraine and is still being encouraged by the recruiters.  They took her up to Boston to take test for the area she wants to specialize in (Intelligence) just this past week, AFTER we confronted her, she admitted the recruiter knows about the situation along with the NCOIC.and they take her up to the testing office this past Tuesday to continue with this.  I hate to beat a dead horse, but I must again ask you for your help.  When we confronted her we told her, till the end of the month (Fe) you must come clean on this or we are going to take matters into our own hands.  She proceeded to leave the house and left a note that she needs some distance, the problem is WE are not supporting her AND the recruiters informed her we have no right to say anything because of the Privacy Act of 1774 (yes, they said 1774).Fortunately for me, on her last visit to a neurologist she agreed to let me in the room so "there is no expectation of privacy when a third party is invited in" I suppose.  Who can I contact now.  These recruiters are based in a town in Massachusetts.  Again, any help you can give me will be greatly appreciated.  I know most of this must seem like a personal problem to you, but wheat I have seen is a young, vibrant young lady who has been totally brainwashed and is being fed a lot of lies by these me.
Thank you again and I hope to hear form you.
A very upset and concerned Mom

Answer
Barbara:

  First, there is no "Privacy act of 1774" as you well know.  That's BS for sure.  Second, as a minor your daughter HAS no 'privacy' or expectations thereof, except under very limited circumstances.  These ain't it.

 Sigh.  At this point, she is still 17, thus they can do anything they want and it's all just talk until YOU sign the papers.  That's the bottom line with this.  She can't go anywhere until you sign.  If she drops out of HS to enlist once she turns 18, that will pretty much DQ her, as the Marine Corps is very picky about taking non HS diploma folks, and even those with GED's have a hard time getting in.

  Here's a suggestion for you, taking another tack with this.  Have her go to this forum:

www.leatherneck.com/forums

 Since she doesn't believe you, have her go there and ask the questions and talk to MARINES, some active, others former.  They'll tell her what you have...but perhaps she'll see things in a different light if she hears it from another source.   That's worth a try as well.

 Jason