Expert: Cynthia Bedell - 10/14/2008

Question
QUESTION: mam i am wanting to get married to my girlfriend but she is 16 and i am 18 and i was wondering whether that would matter to the military i mean i know that they would frown on it but is there any law saying that we cant get married if so than is there any way around it

ANSWER: Dear PV2 Bugg --

Do not get married until she turns 18.  You will not be granted  permission to live off-base with her until you make more rank.  She will be lonelier as a wife living alone then she will be as a girlfriend living with her parents.

I know that two years seems like forever to you now, but it will go very quickly.  Save up your leave, and visit her as often as you can.

Good luck to you both.  Thank you for your service.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: yes mam i realize that i wont be able to live off post until i get more rank but i deploy soon and she will be living with her mom while i am deployed i was just wanting to make sure that the military has no law against getting married if your spouse is underage

Answer
Dear PV2 Bugg --

You are allowed to enter into a marriage with a person of the opposite gender, when they reach the legal age to marry in the state in which you wed.  So if 16 is the age of consent to marry in the state in which you will marry, then you will not have broken a military law or regulation.

Once you are married, you are responsible for her health and welfare, not her parents (even if she continues to live with them).  You will have to ensure she has an adequate and safe place to live, provide her with a monthly living allowance, be sure that she has an ID card, is registered as your spouse in DEERS, and has access to TRICARE health insurance.  She may live with her parents, but you still remain responsible for her welfare.

Consider strongly that if the marriage does not work out, you remain responsible for all of the above since your wife will never have cared for herself.  That means you will owe her alimony sufficient to cover all of the above requirements until she chooses to earn sufficient monies to care for herself, or she marries someone else.  

This is a big decision.  Don't rush it just because you are deploying.  You can make her your beneficiary, even you you do not marry her.

Good luck to both of you.