Expert: John L - 11/28/2008

Question
Hi my name is Antonio, im a DEP for the navy and have some concerns.While at meps i did notify them i had an unborn child on the way.so i was told once the child was born i had to update my dependency status and a financial statement.So 3 days before my leave date i was told i had to pay child support for a child that stays with me and my girlfriend.I was wondering why and my recruiter never answers the question.My girlfriend stated she doesnt need help and we plan to get married once im done with boot camp and get stationed.Until this day he still doesnt explain why?

Answer
The military pay system is screwed up.  they require that if you are un married and have a child, that you have to be ordered to pay child support before they will grant your dependency status.  It is unfair and sexist and needs to be changed, but it is not yet.  

You have two choices.  Get an emergency court hearing to get child support ordered, but it will take a few weeks.

The easier route is to elope.  Get married now, you don't have to tell your family, but you will have that little piece of paper that shows the military you are doing the right thing.  Then have your nice big wedding later when you originally planned.  She and the child will be covered for health and life insurance right away and have other benefits.  My wife and I eloped, didnt tell anyone, then had a big wedding later on, no one ever knew the difference until we told them after the wedding.  Everyone one happy, including the military.  If you are committed to getting married anyways, this will take a lot of pressure and bullshit out of the process.

One thing to remember,   Give her the wedding she wants and deserves.  Or you will regret it, trust me.

I hope I have helped you, if you need anything else, just let me know.

Good luck