Expert: Jason Grabill - 2/8/2008

Question
Hi..I know you are not navy, but I figure someone with your time in rank in the military, and being attached to the navy, could help me.
Heres my situation. I am 6 weeks pregnant. This was in no way a planned pregnancy, but I am a married woman, and we are welcoming the baby with open arms and hearts. I am currently stationed in Gulfport MS, and my husband lives in NY. He has a VERY good job there, that hes had for about 12 years. He has 3 kids from a previous marriage, and has joint custody. For these reasons, he is in no way moving to gulfport. I cannot raise this baby down here alone, and I am not dropping my child off at a daycare and then NY whenever I deploy...and its definately not fair to my husband either. We've talked a lot about this, and we arent going to raise the baby in the military.
I know when I hit my 20th week, Ill be transferred to the 20th regiment, a shore unit, until I have the child..I believe when I get there, Ill have to have a "family care plan" which states the baby has somewhere to go while I work and deploy and I do believe if I refuse, they do an Admin Separations... but I am not sure. What are my options? I know the military isnt so nice about just giving a separations now a days, esp. the navy... can you help me out at all?

Answer
Katie:

 Wow.  A difficult choice to be sure.  As I see it you have a couple of choices.

1:  Apply for compassionate re-assignment.  Possible but it'll depend on the 'needs of the navy' etc etc.  Not sure of your chances of getting that but it might be worth a shot anyway.  

2:  Separation for pregnancy is one of the most common discharges, still, nowadays.  The military (in general, not the navy specifically) still gives the 'discharge' option to those who ask for it.  How this usually works is, you stay in, on active duty, with benefits, until you have the child, then you basically get discharged.  Pretty straightfoward.   

3:  You are correct with the family care plan and the whole bit.  It's a requirement nowadays.

So, those are your options, either go with the 'daycare/family care' plan, or Separate.  The separation won't be as difficult as you might think.  If you haven't briefed your command yet, I would do so at the earliest opportunity, and see how it goes from there.  They may be more supportive than you think...or not...but it's still the easiest thing to do for you, in the long run.

Good luck..and congratulations on your new addition.

Jason