Expert: Cynthia Bedell - 3/2/2008

Question
Hello ma'am! My fiancee' is stationed at Kadena AFB, Japan. I am currently employed in the Mississippi Air National Guard. We are planning on getting married but want to know how we should go about doing this! We do have the option of going to Hickam when I deploy there in June and getting married, and we've also thought about a proxy marriage in I think Texas. Jobwise I will have three years in July which has all been active duty orders as a 5-level SrA jet engine mechanic. She's just passed her five level and will have two years in the latter part of this year and she works personnel at the AMC terminal at Kadena. Please give us some insight on this subject!

Answer
Dear Alan -

Clearly you are able to deal with separation, so the more time you give your assignments manager, the easier it will be for them to find you both assignments at the same location.  

You should try to get married before either one of you gets permanent change of station orders for your next move.  If you are married and have applied for joint domicile, then your next move should try to get you closer to each other.

I do not recommend a proxy marriage because some commands think those are "fake" marriages and only done to get some marriage benefit, usually housing allowance.  However, the next time you are in the same location, you can have a civil marriage ceremony.  The marriage certificate from that ceremony is sufficient to register your marriage with personnel management, and get listed on each others DEERS.  You will each need a certified or notarized copy of the marriage certificate when you return to your duty stations.

You can find out the regulations of the state that you are in on their governmental website.  Some states have a cooling off period, so you have to register and then wait a few day before you can marry.

Write back if you have specific questions.  Best of luck to both of you.  Thank you for serving.