Expert: Cynthia Bedell - 3/7/2008

Question
Okay. So here's the deal. My boyfriend right now want to join the Navy, active duty, for four years. I plan on going to college in Portland, OR. I am scared that i wont be seeing him for four years (we want to be married in a few years), he keeps telling me not to worry because he can tell them to station him around Portland so I can see him. My arguments to him are; They don't station you where you want to be stationed and if they do place you where you want to go you can only be there for two years! He is arguing otherwise, that he can convince them to give him what he wants, but i have all the men in my family in the military and they are telling me what i feel is teh truth. CAn you please clear this up for me. I need to know now what the truth is.

Answer
Dear Amsale' --

If your boyfriend is a "high quality" recruit, he can negotiate many aspects of his enlistment.  So it is possible he will enlist for location, rather than military specialty, bonus or accelerated rank.

However, as you know from your family experience, the Navy requirements can change, and your boyfriend can be sent where he is needed, not where he planned to go.

I think you should think long and hard about your feelings on this issue.  If you cannot trust him to be away from you for a job he wants now, how are you going to trust him when you are married?  

I wish you both the best of luck with your future.