Expert: Cynthia Bedell - 3/19/2008

Question
QUESTION: My son is 19 and is in the Navy. He just returned from a cruise for Iraq. He recently purchased a car and we were told payments would be one amount with a lower interest rate but then the car lot called him back in and told him they messed up the paperwork and redid it. When they did they made the payment and interest rate higher. He didn't catch it. When they took the payment out of his account it set him short. In the meantime he came home for the weekend to help me, I am blind, my mother had open heart surgery and he helped me get to see her and to transport her to the nursing home afterwards. So he returns to base and sees how low his account is and panics. A friend convinced him to go to the NEX and steal something to pawn. It was priced less than $400.00 dollars. He was caught. Stupid, I know. I had no idea he had money problems and he didn't want to upset me so he helped me out financially risking himself and with the car incident he became desperate. Before all of this he has never been in trouble and has only had good things said about him. He has moved up in rank he is an E-3 and has won awards. Now they are talking a discharge because he is being charged with larceny. He made one very stupid and young mistake, but the Navy is his life. What are the chances he will be discharged and would it be under bad conduct? Will civilian employers know about the bad conduct discharge? Will he have a civilian record? If he is discharged under bad conduct will they allow him to rejoin later on once he gets himself straightened out? What would he have to do? Can you please help me, I think if we had an idea of what to expect I would feel so scared for him. I know his leading petty officer is going to bat for him because he said my son was one of the best sailors he ever saw, he was as shocked as I am about all of this. Thank you.

ANSWER: Dear Sheila --

Your son should ask for mercy at his Captain's mast.  If he can convince his chain of command that he has learned from his mistake and will never do it again, he will be busted some rank and be fined or have his free time restricted, but he can stay in the Navy.  He will need his senior chiefs to testify for him, that he is a good sailor that deserves another chance.

As far as the car, however,  he should visit the judge advocate general (JAG), and find out how to return the car with no black marks on his credit.  Bait and switch is illegal, and a new law has recently been signed that keeps businesses from taking advantage of Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, and Airmen.  Your son was clearly taken advantage of and he should ask JAG if there is a way for the military to press charges against this auto dealership.

Good luck to your son, and to you.



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you so much for your response. I actually had the impression that they would not kick him out but the Gunner is pushing for it and the Chiefs do not know why. One Chief is backing my son the other one hasn't said but my son thinks because the Gunner is his friend he will go with his recommendation. My son has been behaving erractic lately and the Chiefs have not noticed but at home we have. He has bi-polar disorder, and honestly we were shocked they took him with it. We told the recuiter about it and he found it in his school records, plus my son was hospitalized with it when he was younger for five days. And there were court records with it on it but the recruiter advised that since my son was successfully unmedicated for four years and had no problems with it the Navy would not care. So on his forms they had him sign at MEPS that he was not hospitalized ever and that he did not have any mental illness since four years have passed. But I can prove they knew because I received SSI for him too regarding it. I did not know they told him not to put it on his forms at MEPS. He was only 17 when he joined. I know I spoke personally with the recruiter myself regarding it so they knew. Plus ANY check into his past records at school, medical etc. would clearly show it. He has an IEP with the school and was in a special class. But now the Navy is behaving as if this is news to them. I am scared to death they will discharge him with no help for his illness because it is apparent to me that it is part of what is going on with him. They just had him in medical for not eating for two days. That is not normal behavior. He wants to remain in the Navy but I think it might be too stressful for him. He has a great record and maybe could stay but they need to medicate him first, but it appears as if they want to not help at all and just boot him out using the larceny charge as an excuse. I cannot believe he has served a cruise for Iraq, has a good record until this one incident which was so stupid on his part but shouldn't ruin his life, be punished yes, ruin his life I think is excessive and suddenly they are all walking away from him as if he has the plague. I never thought they could treat a fellow comrade that way but he said no one is speaking to him. Of course it could also be his paranoia talking and maybe they are acting just fine, either way he isn't fine and I am fearful for him. I honestly have no idea what to do. I am blind and can't just drive there myself to try to straighten things out and I am worried he will have no life when he is done. I was told he will be going to Captain's Mast over the larceny. Again any info/input you can give would be appreciated. I think knowing what might happen can at least alleviate some of my fears. At least this way I know I can try to figure out which way to turn here at home, do I prepare for an adult child living at home again or do I let things go as they are with the Navy? He has called the defense people to help him out three times and I have called twice but still no one has called back. What do you think they will do, what could we be looking at?

Answer
Dear Sheila --

You need to convince your son to get back on his medication.  Bi-polar disease shouldn't be treated cold turkey.  Further, its onset is usually in the someone's 20s not in the teens. So if he showed signs and was treated in his teens, he is very susceptible to the chemical imbalance.  If his bi-polar is partially triggered by seasonal mood affect disorder, then coming back from a sunny location to a cold, gray, or dark location could trigger large symptomatic changes.

He needs to go to the mental health clinic as a self referral and get evaluated.  The psychiatrists can evaluate and recommend a treatment plan whether or not the Navy plans to retain your son.  Once he is back to himself, your son should be able to discuss rationally his mistake and what he has learned, and how he will never make such a mistake again.  He may even be able to convince them to give him a chance.  At the very least, he should be able to get an honorable discharge out of the situation, if his Captain understands the mitigating circumstances of his disease.

I cannot predict what will happen to your son.  However, if he does not get treatment, and make a rational attempt to explain his case, he will be discharged.  If he gets treatment, he may still be discharged.  A discharge under those circumstances should be honorable, and he should be eligible for continued treatment through the Veterans' Administration.

Good luck to you in helping your son get the assistance he needs.  Do not be afraid to call his commander and discuss your son's situation with him.