Expert: Cynthia Bedell - 6/22/2008

Question
My son went into the Marines in DEP. he has attende boot camp, junior officer training and is now at Sr. OCS. He is doing well, but seems to be having doubts about his decision. I am asking is he able to decline his officer commission, pay back his schooling money and be released. he had wanted to go to flight school but something has changed his mind. Any help or advice would be appreciated.

Answer
Dear Kathy --

Unless your son has become a conscientious objector, his contract is binding.  Unless you have a clear understanding of why he is having second thoughts, please encourage him to continue his training, and graduate as an officer.  If he does not graduate as an officer, he will be compelled to complete his service obligations as an enlisted Marine.  Most people who qualify for officer training, will not be happy as an enlisted Marine (although not all).

It is not unusual for a young person to have second thoughts about being an officer once they realize the level of responsibility they will have over other young (and some not so young) people's lives.  It is a huge burden for a young man or woman to take on at the age of 20 or so, and those that are truly compassionate and wise for their years realize it.  However, those young people usually make the best officers.

If you can, have someone your son trusts talk to him as openly as possible, to see if they can determine the nature of his concerns.  Also encourage your son to see the chaplain so he can talk about his concerns in a private confidential session.  Even if he is not very religious, your son might get some relief just by being able to talk about his concerns openly with a military officer.

You may also give him this website and my name, if he would like to dialog anonymously with me.  I wish you both the best of luck.