Expert: John L - 2/20/2009

Question
I want to join the Ohio Army National Guard. I have spoken with a recruiter and I have done a lot of homework on the guard. I want to join, but I cannot convince my husband to allow me to join. We do not have any children but I do not want to join without his blessing. The guard will help us tremendously in our monetary situation; especially since I am going to be going to Nursing school soon. His answer to the monetary benefit is that the time spent away from each other is not worth all the money in the world. I don't know how to convince him that this is the right choice. Money is not the only reason I want to join; I want to be a part of something bigger than myself. Every time I try to talk to him about it, he gets upset. Any suggestions on how to explain to him that this is what I really want to do?

Answer
It seems that you have done everything you can, done your research etc.  What I recommend is to get to the root of the issue.  It is not "spending time apart".  It goes deeper such as worry about going to a war zone, maybe that you can do something your self that he has no control,  it could be a variety of reasons.  He gets upset for a reason, I bet he is just scared of what can happen to you.  I do agree that you want his full support,  ask him to do his own research then give you concrete reasons why he doesn't want you to join, not the  "I'll miss you" that is a cop out that he wishes not to talk about it.

Good luck