Expert: John L - 3/19/2009

Question
Hi,

I'll try to make this as brief, but as thorough as possible. My boyfriend and I (both Army National Guard) are on a deployment together (in the same company) in Iraq. We've been getting in trouble lately for being around each other (we hang out together, but don't show PDA). Our company is trying to call it fraternization. We've been in the same amount of years; he's an E-5 and I'm an E-4. He's not in a leadership position to have it considered an unfair advantage. We're not under the same leadership and never go out on missions together as we're in different sections. Our personal relationship does not interfere with our job duties. I'm thinking that we can't get in trouble for us going to chow together and the such, but I don't want to press buttons.

That being said, we've considered getting married while overseas on this deployment, but are unsure how this will affect us. Do we need to inform or ask permission to get married from our chain of command? Will there be any repercussions if we do? We want to be able to cover all of our bases and see how a commitment like that will change our working environment and the such. Like, would one of us be transferred out of the company into another one? Would they send one of us to another base or out of the battalion? We don't want retaliation because of us getting married. Are there good sources for questions regarding military marriages; I can't seem to find them.

Answer
I would talk to  chaplain about the marriage thing.  I do not think it will fly while out in country.  Try to get leave the same time and do it there.  Plenty of NG married couples serve together.  they cannot call it fraternization if you follow the rules, which it sounds like you are.
I doubt anyone would be transferred, where would you go?  Unless there is another sister company out there with you, I doubt they could do anything.

Hang in there and follow the rules.  hanging out, eating chow does not break any rules.  Be very careful on living spaces.  

But do talk to the chaplain about the marriage while out there.  I do believe you have to get permission, but do think there is a regulation against it.

hang in there and be safe.

good luck.

Please let me know what the chaplain tells you so I can keep it for reference.  Thanks.