Expert: Howard Lorenz - 4/3/2009

Question
QUESTION: My husband was sworn in a few weeks ago and will leave for boot camp in August.  We have 3 children already and are considering trying for another one.  If I get pregnant before he leaves for boot camp, will this affect his future with the navy in any way?

ANSWER: Ok I want to appologize in advance for what Im about to say....

You two do not need any more children right now... I dont mean that in a MEAN way, You have to consider the fact that he isnt going to be making alot of money to begin with, If you get pregnant before he leaves, it could jepardize his enlistment.

Save it for a later date when hes IN the military and you can afford it... I have 4 and Ive been 20 years, Its hard even at MY level..

Get in FIRST!!! Get Established!! Then later on think about more..

H

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: While I do appreciate your honesty, I do not feel that it is up to you to decide if we need more children or not.  I know what kind of money he will be making in the navy, and that is not my concern right now.  

My concern is, if I get pregnant before he leaves, will it ruin any chances of him joining the navy, EVER?  Or slow down the process for more paperwork and approvals, etc?  I don't want to jeopardize his career and neither does he.  But having another baby is something we have both discussed and decided we are ready for.

Thank you for your time and expertise!

Answer
No isn't my decision or my will to decide rather you will or will not have more children, BUT I will tell you from experience that I have had SEVERAL troops that are in your situation who are on Food stamps because they do not have enough money with the basic allowance for housing to make ends meet. All I'm saying is rethink that decision. The decision you make is the one that you and your husband will have to live with and possibly have to deal with if you happen to run into financial difficulties.

If you get pregnant before he leaves, it changes his dependants. You are one of them and the other three make 4. You add baby  to the equation that makes 5. He gets a pay increase for 2 children plus you.. SO You do the math. I have went to bat for 7 troops and their families because they came in with children and had more.. I'm sure that I don't have to tell you that kids are expensive and you don't know where you will be stationed at. If you end up in a high cost of living area and cant get on base right away, you will have to live in the general community which is more expensive... I have seen this WAY too many times...

I am not sure if the Navy had to do a dependency waiver for enlistment, but in the Air Force that is a given so him guessing that the Navy is no different. If you get pregnant before he goes for basic training...then the dependency waiver will have to be reaccomplished and then his status changes. The Navy or the DOD will not allow folks to come in to a situation where WE (the Military) sets them up for failure. Its against the UCMJ or the Uniform Code of Military Justice to get into financial irresponsibility.

You have to remember... You asked me the question, I'm giving you the answer of what I know will happen. Now you may have the means, if so then do what you guys want to do.. If not all im asking you to do is RETHINK your situation to prevent something worse from happening that could have been prevented if you had re thought your situation.. Thats what we do is advise.. we can not make you decide anything... Only you can do that...just be prepared to take responsibility for the decision you do make.

I wish you all the best

H