Expert: Jason Grabill - 4/18/2009

Question
Hello, I came across your q/a reviewing some information about the Marines.  I
hope you can shed some light on this for me.  My son just turned 18 and is going to enlist for the Marines tomorrow.  I am very against it.  Its not that I am against the military but I dont want my son to put himself in harms way.  He is wanting to join infantry as a assault fighter?  He has always wanted to be a navy seal, and was going to purse that but, this year changed it to the Marines. I am very depressed and have tried to talk him out of it for some time.  At this point he has his mind set.  Another thing is, he has TICs, which is involuntary movements and some sounds.  IT has always been minor, but
when you are around him for a while, you know.  It doesn't really affect his actions, but I was wondering if they would accept him.  He is on medicine now, but would need to get off.  When he has his physical he will still be on the medicine, but by the time he goes to training, he would be off.  What happens if they see him jerking his head or moving?   I feel very bad as a mother that I am
not supporting him, but I am so scared, I'm scared of him leaving for 4 or more years, and especially frightened for his safety.  I know I will open up and support him, I always do, but I am so afraid.  I dont know if he is joining for the right reasons, or if he has the facts.  He says he's thought about it and prayed and looked at it from all views, but I cant belive that he's understands
or better yet thinks of what it could do to him.  I know this is selfish, but he is my first born and only son.  I am proud that he wants to do such a great thing, but I am afraid that he will regret it.  He is graduating next month from high school and hasn't considered college, he is smart and can make it in college and has so much potential.  When he was 17 he begged me to talk to them
with him and I did, but I didnt allow him to enlist.  He said that he would one day but didnt know when.  Well he is ready.  Please help me.  If there is anything I could tell him that he needs to consider, please let me know.  I know this sounds so selfish, but I am a mother, afraid of losing her child and I dont want his TICs to affect him or stop him from pursing what he wants.



Thanks  

Answer
Maria:

 First off, if he's on medication of any kind, he won't be able to enlist into any branch of the military.  He'll need a waiver, at the minimum, which he may not get.  

 Many people are more inclined to the military rather than college, and that's not a bad thing at all.  Many kids, smart or not, go to college and fail, or go to college and become miserable.    

 While I understand your worry (you are his mom, after all), he has to leave the nest sometime.  IF this is what he wants to do, and is going in with both eyes open, then give him your blessing, write often, and know that he is happy.  

 If he gets to enlist, he'll be embarking on a great adventure, something he can be proud of, as will you.  

 Think of it this way, your son, if he has a drivers license, puts himself 'into harms way' every day he gets behind the wheel.  The rate of 16-21 year old kids dying in auto accidents is about 20 times (or more) that of the same age group becoming casualties in wartime, even during the heavy fighting of several years ago.  He has a far greater chance of that happening than anything else.  

 I hope his medical issues do not keep him from enlisting.

Best regards,

Jason