Expert: Cynthia Bedell - 6/20/2009

Question
i am airforce and my fiance is navy. what are the chances once we get married that we will get stationed together?

Answer
Dear Christina --

Unfortunately, that depends on what you consider stationed together compared to what the military considers stationed together.

Once you are married and apply for joint domicile, on your next permanent change of station, your assignments officer or billeting officer are supposed to work together to get you assigned duty stations in the same region.  However, the same region can be very far apart.  

For example, same region can be "east coast" so you could be at Hanscom Field, MA and your husband could be in Pensacola, FL.  Or you could be assigned Western Europe and you could be in the UK and your husband in Italy.

However, if you have a good billeter and are willing to be flexible with your assignments, you can often get assignments very close to each other. During each reassignment negotiation, one of you is going to have to allow their career to take backseat to the other's career.  So you have to work timing, and planning.  If it is time for a key assignment so your husband can get a command billet, you might have to take a less than stellar billet in order to be close to him.  If it is time for you to take a key billet to promotion opportunity, he might have to settle for a less desirable job, in order to be close to you.

The Washington DC area has all services and many and varied jobs, so if you are willing to take DC assignments, you could be together more often than not.  

Understand that when your husband has to take ship duty, his port assignment may be close to you, but he will be deployed shipboard.  You may want to choose your key assignments while he is away on ship duty, since you would be separated for long time periods anyway.  That will also depend on whether you choose to raise a family, and who you will have to assist you with raising the children when he is on ship duty.

I know quite a few couples that have made dual military/dual service marriages work, but it took a lot of flexibility and a lot of work on their part to make those marriages a success.

Good luck to both of you and than you for your service.