Expert: MARK A. HOWELL - 10/28/2010

Question
QUESTION: Sir,
Thank you for taking your time to be available to people like me who need your expertise. I will explain to you my situation and my military history and then make you aware of the issue plaguing me.
Sir, I began enlisted active duty Air Force in 2007. I have an excellent record and have excelled in almost all possible areas. I was dorm cheif, honor graduate, expert marksman and earned warhawk fitness status in basic training. Next, I went to Keesler AFB for a very long and challenging tech school for weather. It was 7-8 months and there I excelled academically, receiving Distinguished Graduate. I moved to my first duty assignment and was there for 2 years, where I made Senior Airman Below the Zone, was 3 time Airman of the month, finished my CCAF associate's degree, I received an achievement medal and also made SSgt on my first testing cycle. I am telling you this to illustrate my potential.
Anyhow, back in August, I was separated because I applied for the Airman Scholarship and Commissioning Program and was accepted to go back to college on a scholarship, then return to active duty as a 2Lt. I have since been in school full time and have been transferred to the command of an ROTC detachment.
Since joining the ROTC detachment, I began to question whether or not I have what it takes to be a "leader" in the sense that they want me to be. I am not a domineering person. I am very reserved. I do not like to yell at people or boss people around. I like to do my job and do it well, leading by example, not by force.
Every time I go to ROTC and attend their "leadership laboratories" I feel like I am not the type of person who fits the "officer persona". I spent my whole enlisted career under a lot of stress and now I feel too "burned out" to completely delve into the persona they want me to be. I see a lot of the upper-classmen cadets being very overly confident, very bossy, very judgmental and the stress continues. I know that they expect more of me because I was prior enlisted, but I am just not the type of person to naturally want to control situations. I don't think I will ever be that type of person.

So, basically, my problem is this: I do not feel that I am cut out to be an officer because I don't have that domineering personality that seems to accompany most officers. I was kind of hoping maybe they could mold me into a good "leader" with time, but I find that persona to be very unappealing and do not want to become that way.

Is it possible to be a good officer if I am not overbearing like that? Will I get through the ROTC program being reserved and doing my best at the tasks at hand without aspiring to be the "top dog"?

I do not do much as far as extra participation within the ROTC unit because I did all of that for the past 3 years enlisted and, frankly, it burned me out. I don't think I have it left in me to take on all sorts of responsibilities left within the unit. It would be one thing if that were my only job, but I consider my academics to be my #1 priority and I definitely put my studies above volunteering in the detachment. My contract states that my sole responsibilities for maintaining my scholarship are to keep a certain G.P.A. and to keep up my fitness standards. It does not say that I have to take on all these extra tasks they try to push at me, so I have kind of resigned myself to only worrying about my studies and fitness and just showing up to the mandatory ROTC events.

Do you think I will be able to succeed in my efforts to complete my program and become an officer being the way that I am?

Thank you, Sir.

Sincerely,
Sara


ANSWER: Sara,
I understand why you’re doubting yourself and that in itself is the mark of a good leader.  Sure, there are others who have a dominating personality, but they usually capitalize upon that strength to disguise another weakness.  I’m sure you’ll do just fine if you just trust in your abilities a little more and build up your self confidence.  Even Napoleon questioned himself before every battle.

When I first made Major and was a branch chief, I had a young female Captain working for me.  I absolutely hated talking to her because she had a domineering personality that made me cower.  I was almost afraid to give her a tasking, and avoided her whenever possible.  The more I got to know her I realized she wasn’t too bright but she could bluff her way through most anything.

My point is, overcoming adversity like that is a sign of a good leader.  You don’t have to be a General Patton in every situation.  Face it, most of the time you’re not going into direct combat, you’ll be in an office environment.  If you feel confident that you know what to do, you’ll do it.  It may take some time, just like PCSing to a new job.  At first you seem lost and wonder, “How did I get myself into this?”  After about a year you’re pretty comfortable in your job, and after two years you’re an expert.  Then they move you and it starts all over again.

I remember when I hoped and prayed that I’d get a commander’s job.  Then when I got one I prayed that I could DO the job.  After awhile, I knew I could handle any job they threw at me.

Then in my first Base Commander job an F-16 crashed near base.  I felt like a complete idiot, but I knew what needed to be done and I did it.  Maybe not as flamboyant as some, but the job got done.

Bottom line is – you don’t need a domineering personality.  You apparently are smart and that’s all that’s necessary.  In fact, your subordinates will appreciate the fact that you aren’t.  Even you said, “I find that persona to be very unappealing and do not want to become that way.”  So you shouldn’t.  The military didn’t ask you to change your persona when you joined.  They’re just giving you the skills to become an effective leader.  How you use those skills determines how effective you’ll be.

You’re doing everything right.  You don’t need to take on additional duties.  They’ll be completely worthless upon graduation and back into the real military.  Your diploma will say “Graduated“ just like everybody else’s, and that’s what counts.  Even your performance reports in ROTC won’t matter a whit beyond your first assignment.

I think you’ll be a great officer and leader…compassionate and caring about your troops.  Just stick with it.

Colonel H

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Dear Colonel H,
Thank you for the honest reply. I needed to have someone look at the situation from the outside because it is hard to self-examine. I guess I was just worried about passing ROTC  field training because they constantly keep telling us how much you have to prove you are a leader at field training or else you cannot become commissioned. I am just worried that they might prevent me from commissioning because I am not doing all of the volunteer tasks and "proving leadership" in the detachment. It is difficult for me to do so because the detachment is 35 miles away from my campus, so I don't have the time or the resources to make that drive more than the mandatory 2 times per week to show up for all these extra details.
Furthermore, I learned from all of my previous military training that it is almost pointless to wear yourself out doing things like that when you look at the big picture. I am taking my studies so seriously that I spend almost all of my waking hours studying. I want to excel academically. I don't feel like doing all the extra little things for the detachment is worth sacrificing time I could be studying. I just hope they don't determine I am not a "leader" because of this. I want to be a leader but in my own way. I feel better knowing that you see no faults in my attitude toward the situation I am in.
Right now, I consider my job to be my schoolwork and maintaining my fitness and I hope that will be sufficient to get me where I need to go.

Again, I thank you and I appreciate you telling me about your personal experiences so that I can relate and feel less bad about not going above and beyond for ROTC.

v/r,

Sara

Answer
Sara,
I'm glad you feel a little better about your situation now.  You need to relax and enjoy yourself and think of ROTC as "time off" from the real military, and you know how demanding that can be.  It'll still be there when you graduate.

Colonel H