Expert: Cynthia Bedell - 6/24/2005

Question
Cynthia,how does one help a widow from a death in Iraq?
Some one that may have several children and fell through the crack in the military sopport system?
It would be nice to think that nothin like neglect ever happened to dependants, but?  

Answer
Dear Charles Cox --

All families of Soldiers who died in war should receive assistance from the military.  The widow should have received a visit from a Family Support Officer.  That officer and the chaplain's office should be assisting this widow.  She should get his final pay. She should also be getting a death gratuity (lump sum for immediate burial costs etc.) and a survivor pension (currently $750 per month).  The children remain eligible for Tricare health insurance, until they turn 18 (or 23 while attending full-time college).  She would lose her benefits, if she remarries.

Now, here's the tricky part.  If she was a "common-law" wife, and not registered with the Defense system DEERS, as a family member, then she gets no benefits.  She cannot prove her "common-law" status after the fact.  If she was married (marriage certificate not voided by subsequent divorce) she can get assistance to have herself and the children (with birth certificates with the Soldier's name and SSN listed as father on it) registered in DEERS.  Once that is done, she can file for her rightful death benefits and pension support.  Adoption papers for the children listing the Soldier as the adoptive father also work.

If the Soldier paid for his Serviceman's Group Life Insurance, she may be eligible for that payment also, but that depends who he listed as beneficiary.

Odd things can complicate these support actions.  I had a case where the Soldier's mother hated the Soldier's wife, so when the family assistance officer came by, the mother claimed no wife and no children existed, so the mother claimed the death gratuity and final pay.  But subsequent investigation showed the Soldier had legally married and had a child, so the government took the money back from the mother and paid the wife and child.  The child is still receiving benefits.  The wife has remarried and so is now ineligible for benefits.

Some ways to get help.  Visit the local military installation with all supporting documentation, and see a Judge Advocate General's representative.  Or visit the personnel assistance office of the Soldier's last unit.  Or visit veteran's assistance office.  Or visit the local social security office.  Be sure to bring all pertinent documents.  There is also a Washington DC office for beneficiary assistance.

Here are some sites that may help you answer her questions.

https://www.patrick.af.mil/45sw/45ja/BDU_SGLI.htm

http://www.state.sc.us/ddsn/pubs/now/military.htm

http://usmilitary.about.com/od/theorderlyroom/l/blcasualty.htm

Best of luck to you and to her.