Expert: Cynthia Bedell - 10/3/2007

Question
I am a new commissioned 2LT in the Army, single and no children, my mother is a widow and I have been taking care of her.  I have not reached my duty station as of yet and would like to know if there is a way to process the paperwork to add my mother as my dependent.  I will be stationed overseas and not sure if I have to wait until I do the in-processing to get it started.  I have gone through BOLC II and III and since I was in a TRADOC facility it could not be processed through them.  Can you please give me advise.

Answer
Dear Lina --

Very rarely can you make a parent a dependent and receive with dependant housing differential.  However, you can sometimes get permission to have your parent live with you as if they were a dependent, and get quarters assigned where you can both live.

An overseas assignment is especially problematic.  You were likely assigned an unaccompanied long tour based on the fact you were single with no dependent children.  That means the command did not have to "sponsor" a family for you.  Now -- suddenly at least to the new unit -- you will be asking them to "command sponsor" your mother.  It is highly unlikely they will want to do that.

You have a few options.  Visit your personnel office and get the paperwork you would need to complete to get your mother declared your dependent.  That form is a DD Form 1172 -- I believe.  She will need to be declared mentally or physically incapable of caring for herself and you will have to be her legal guardian.  If your situation does not meet these standards, you probably cannot get her named your dependent.

In that case, you can bring her overseas with your at your expense (not advised).  You can find someone close to where she currently lives who you trust to care for her while you are gone.  Or you can apply for a compassionate reassignment to a location close to where she currently lives, or another acceptable location for you both.

If you have a sponsor at your overseas unit, try to call and talk them about your situation, and see what the command would be willing to support.  Also talk to your branch manager, and see if there is a better assignment for you based on your new family situation with your mother.  There may be an officer that needs to be overseas while you really need to remain CONUS until your mother's situation is more settled.

Good luck to you with your mother and your military career.