Expert: Cynthia Bedell - 12/7/2007

Question
Hello Ma'am! I am an 01, received my commission in June '07. I am active duty Army and I am married to an active duty E-5 in the Coast Guard. We are planning to start a family when I get done with OBC. A classmate of mine said that if I have two children within the first two years, I will have to resign my commission. I have an ADSO, owe the Army 7 years (at least) and I know how the numbers show how badly soldiers are needed. Would they really force me to resign? Also, my husband is active duty, so what would happen when I get deployed. Our parents both live far enough away that they couldn't be a part of our family care plan. What options would I have for my family care program? Thank you!

Answer
Dear Kristen --

Someone is trying to give you a line.  You are allowed to have children and raise a family, even if you are a dual military couple.  You will find that there will be many military men and some of their spouses that will resent you and your joint military status.  Please ignore them or treat them with amusement for their misguided ideas.

However, you will have to have a strong and executable family care plan.  That may mean sending the children away to live with their grandparents if you or your husband deploy for an extended period.  You are allowed to have other family members or a family friend become your children's legal guardian, if you do not wish to or cannot send your children to live with their grandparents.  You will need to get all the powers of attorney done, and establish what events make them effective, and what actions revoke them.  Your local Judge Advocate General's (JAG) office can help you design the power of attorney to meet your needs and establish your family care plan.

I caution you to plan your family around duty stations that allow you regular duty hours and access to health care.  If you know your first duty station will be such an assignment, then it makes sense to start your family right away.  If your first duty station will have a lot of deployments, you may want to wait until your second tour.

Please feel free to write back, if you have additional questions or concerns.  Good luck to you and your husband.  Thank you for serving.