Expert: Cynthia Bedell - 8/9/2007

Question
My daughter's boyfriend is trying to join the Army ROTC program.  They are not married but have a son together.  He has been told that he is disqualified unless they get married or he gives up his parental rights to his son.  This does not seem right.  Can you shed some light on this.  Thank you

Answer
Dear Floyd --

Both ROTC and the service academies require that an officer candidate have no outside responsibilities.  ROTC now allows married candidates, which is a major move forward.  However, they do not accept candidates with a dependent (child or spouse) than cannot care for themselves.  The service academies will not accept married candidates at all.

There do seem to be some ways around these rules.  Your son could assign guardianship to you, and once he is commissioned and settled some place, he could revoke the guardianship and have his son back.

These types of arrangements are frowned upon, but happen fairly regularly.

He would be expected to find a permanent guardian for his son, even if he were enlisting, since he is unmarried.  If he and your daughter do not plan to get married, then the only options are other guardianship arrangements.

Please write back, if you have other details of their circumstances or additional questions.

Good luck to all of you.