Expert: Jason Grabill - 8/2/2007

Question
my 20 year old son has been in marine boot camp at parris island 2 weeks . he just got done with 1 1/2 years of college in criminal justice . he has a gpa of 3.3 .he also was a special police officier with our local town law enforcement . he joined marines because he was getting a little tired of the classroom . myself and many others advised him extensively not to go in the marines but to finish college. my son is not a military patriotic person .he was financially secure . we gave him every dvd we could get our hands on to show him what boot camp and military life was like . hes over 6 foot tall and physically fit and made sure before he went in he could do 10 times the physical skill requirements . i have now recieve a letter everyday from him ( 6 letters )  and he wants to get out and go back to college . he wishes he hadnt gone in .he says boot camp isnt hard and he tells me he actually helps other guys having a hard time . however now hes there he doesnt believe in the goals or values of the marines . he hasnt told anybody yet because he sees how those who say they want to leave are being treated once they voice up they want out .   ive talk to a friend who recently got out of the marines and he said they cant force you to stay in especially the first 90 days , however my son says hes seen a guy try to kill himself and they told him hes not getting out . i would like to try and get him out before the next semester for college starts which is sept 3 .   some people have said get a local lawywer near parris island , others have said i have to contact my congressman . i want to go about this the right way so he isnt persecuted by his drill seargent and fellow recruits . what suggestions can you give    thank you

Answer
Quite frankly, I'm probably the wrong guy to ask here.   I think that your son should suck it up.  He made the commitment, and he should go through with it.  Again, I'm the wrong guy to ask.

It's normal for him to be feeling this way only two weeks into recruit training.   

And, if he does manage to get himself 'out' somehow now, I can assure you this much, he will regret it the rest of his days.    Also, he can forget about police employment for at least the next 5-9 years, if ever.  The only discharges available for him at this point are 'failure to adapt to military life', a medical discharge, or a discharge for lying on his initial enlistment.   Again, ALL of those (with the possible exception of the medical) will prevent his being hired by any law enforcement agency for a considerable length of time.  How do I know that?  I have sat on police hiring boards, and have disqualified applicants with 'failure to adapt to military life' discharges.   If they can't "adapt" to military life, then they won't succeed as Police officers, and as a cop myself, I don't want them working with me.   See where this one is going?

I can't DISCOURAGE this course of action strongly enough.   It WILL haunt him for a good long time afterwards.  

He's only two weeks in, and probably just in the intial days of training.   Give it time.   Cut the apron strings, he's 20 years old, let him stand on his own and be a man.

Finally, to answer your question, there is no way for him to just say "I quit".   The only options are those I've mentioned, above, and while some of those may seem like a good idea now, later on they will come back to him in the worst possible way.  

You may not like this answer, but any other military person is going to give you a similar one.   


Jason