Expert: Violet Argo RN - 4/9/2011

Question
QUESTION: I AM 5'6" TALL AND 121 POUNDS.  DONT YOU THINK HER REMARKS WERE UNCALLED FOR.  THE DOCTOR IS AN ENT (EAR NOSE AND THROAT) AND ALL I DID WAS WALK IN SIGN IN SIT DOWN AND SHE MAKE THOSE REMARKS.

On March 31, 2011 I went to get my ears cleaned (tons of wax). The nurse said hello to me in the waiting room. The nurse said "You are too thin, you need to gain weight". I did not say anything. Ten minutes later I went over to the recept to tell her something and the nurse was standing there. The nurse said "You need to gain weight, you lost a lot" I said to her "But I was always thin" The nurse said "You got thinner" I pesterd the nurse alot, saying that I was always thin and she said "You got thinner" During the course of the conversation the nurse said "You can see it in your face - you look drawn". I then pestered her later on and said "But you made it sound like I was heavy" and the nurse said "You no way". The nurse also said "The wind could blow you away before but more so now" I wouldnt have pestered the nurse at all if she did not say "You lost a lot" because to me that infers that someone was heavy.

Then I snail mailed this letter to Dina: (still havent heard from her):

LETTER TO DINA:
Dear Dina: (3/31/11): I hope you are well and it was nice seeing you today. However, I wanted to touch base with you in regards to what transpired today in the office. I know I pestered you a lot but I wanted to make sure I understood what you meant. I was still a little unsure after I left the office so I told a few of my friends what you said as well what I said. My friends told me the following "ALL DINA MEANT WAS YOU WERE ALWAYS THIN BUT NOW YOU ARE THINNER - PLAIN AND SIMPLE". I was hoping (and expecting) you could EMAIL me back confirming what my friends told me so I can get closure on this. Thanks in advance for the email confirmation as I know you will do this due to the fact you are a kind and understanding individual.

My email address is:  _________

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Then I snail mailed this letter to the doctor:

Dear Dr. _________(4/4/11): As you know I have been coming to you for many years due to your expertise and I trust you..

However, here is why I am writing to you. On Thursday, March 31, 2011 I had an appointment to see you. After I signed in and sat down and waited to be called into see you Dina came into the waiting room to call out for the next patient. Dina and I said hello. However, out of the clear blue Dina says "You need to gain weight". I did not say anything and at first decided to ignore it until about 10 minutes later I walked over to the reception area to ask the receptionist a question but before I could ask the question Dina says without provocation "You lost a lot of weight, you need to gain""

Understandably I was very upset at her uncalled for remarks. At first I thought she meant I was heavy at one time, Dina reassured me I was thin but thinner now. With that being said I was still upset. First of all it is not her place to tell me if I lost weight or not, or if I should gain or not, especially since I did not ask her for her opinion. And why would I gain if I don't want to.

When I came home I decided to write a letter to Dina due to the fact I was hoping for her to confirm what my friends said but as of today I still have not heard from her. Here is a copy of the letter I mailed to her.

LETTER TO DINA:
Dear Dina: (3/31/11): I hope you are well and it was nice seeing you today. However, I wanted to touch base with you in regards to what transpired today in the office. I know I pestered you a lot but I wanted to make sure I understood what you meant. I was still a little unsure after I left the office so I told a few of my friends what you said as well what I said. My friends told me the following "ALL DINA MEANT WAS YOU WERE ALWAYS THIN BUT NOW YOU ARE THINNER - PLAIN AND SIMPLE". I was hoping (and expecting) you could EMAIL me back confirming what my friends told me so I can get closure on this. Thanks in advance for the email confirmation as I know you will do this due to the fact you are a kind and understanding individual.

My email address is: _____________
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Dr. ______I know you will take care of this matter with Dina and in addition I would love a confirmation from Dina.

Thank you for all your help in advance.

ANSWER: I sounds like Dina was just making conversation, but if you were offended then she should apologize for her remarks.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: How is that making conversation. Your answer does NOT make any sense

Answer
Debbie, many times people just open their mouths and say things thinking they are being conversational. She may have thought she was being friendly, she may have thought she was being clever, or helpful. I must agree that since you were not there about your weight, she probably should not have mentioned it. I will also agree that it was unprofessional to do so in a public place, if she wanted to give nursing advice because she was concerned about your weight loss, she should have done so in the examination room or office. You will only know her intent by asking her. I cannot think she was deliberately being malicious or intending to hurt you, but I do not "know" that you will have to ask her. I hope this is a more satisfactory answer and ease your mind.