Expert: Neil Wileman - 10/24/2004

Question
Hello,

Thank you for replying.
Actually, one of the two officers was a female officer and I would like to assure you that I there
was no mistake in my perception when I said these officers were being aggresssive.  I will not be
providing them with any further details even though I know who comitted these violent sexual
assaults against me.   Had the police treated me with respect and sensitivity, they would have
been able to gain my confidence and have those men arrested already.  As it is now,  I do not
trust the police anymore and have no further interest in talking to them.   

I was traumatized deeply by the assault that happened to me.  I wish I was able to help those
officers by cooperating but I honestly never want to speak to them again and it will be a long
time before I ever trust a police officer again.   If these two men violently sexually assault another
woman, it will not be on my conscience.   I would have cooperated if I had been treated with
compassion and respect.  I have no intention of helping the police with anything ! How did they
help me ?  They were rude and hostile - again, not a perception.  At one point, they were yelling
at me.   Is that the way to deal with an extremely traumatized victim ??? NO !   They lost their
chance in getting any cooperation from me...now they have to try and catch the guys themselves
and pray that there are not any further sexual assaults in the meantime.   Perhaps they will learn
to treat the next victim like a human being.

-------------------------
Followup To
Question -
Hi,

A couple of weeks ago,  I was a victim of a fairly violent sexual
assault.  I called an ambulance and was taken to hospital.  the
police attended but I was not the one who called them and I did
not really want to talk to them because I was dealing with what
had happened with me. All they seemed to care about was
catching the people who did this to me.   I know that's their job
but I don't understand why they couldn't have any compassion
for me ?

Anyway, because of the way they treated me at the hospital I
have now decided I do not want to talk to them at all. (If they
had just backed off for a couple of hours to let me talk to the
sexual assault counsellors and get medical treatment I would
have provided some kind of statement.

They would not leave me alone at the hospital - kept asking
questions and just would not back off. It seemed very aggressive
to me.  When I refused to talk to them, they asked why I wasn't
cooperating.

Now the police are saying I am still being non-cooperative and
that this will go on my record.

I am wondering if you can suggest I way I can
deal with them ?  I have never had dealings with the police
before and this is been a really difficult experience for me.

They are now calling me and being very persistent about
meeting me for a statement and I simply am to angry and
emotionally devastated to deal with them.  The trauma from the
assault is something that will take me a long time to get over
and all they seem to care about is getting this statement !

I have always respected the police but I am finding it really hard
to see them in the same way after this experience.

Sarah
Answer -
Sarah,

What happened to you was probably a horrific and traumatic event that will live with you for a
long time.  The police that attended probably just wanted to help - its a difficult balance - they
are trying to get evidence (physically and in the form of descriptions and statements) as in cases
like this, time is critical. Unfortunately, they are asking you to relive the event over and over, as
with these types of incidents, the devil is in the detail. I am sure they were not being aggresive -
it was just how it was perceived. I would suggest that you speak to someone -  a rape crisis
counsellor or a womens group. They will help you, both with the terrible thing that happened to
you, and with how to deal with the police. Remember you are the victim here. I was not your
fault, but you must try and help the police catch this person. It will not be easy for you, but I
hope that you have the courage to stand up to the wrong that was done to you. In cases like
these they are generally dealt with by specially trained officers. You can always ask to be dealt
with by a female officer if you wish.

Hope this is of some help to you.

Regards

Neil

Answer
Sarah,

I am sorry you feel this way. Unfortunately the way the police treated you was wrong, but the clock cannot be wound back. You feel how you feel. It is a pity you cannot put aside your feelings towards the police to help catch the offenders responsible for the assault on you. I would still recommend that you speak to somebody at the rape crisis centre or similar. Here is a link to their site www.rapecrisis.org.uk

Regards

Neil