Expert: Cathy Clamp - 2/11/2008

Question
QUESTION: Hi,
   In the opening preface of the story I'm writing, I have a scene between a
marijuana grower and a Rastafarian drug runner.  They meet at a lonely
high-mountain lake in the Rocky Mountains in the dark of night.  My Rasta
man has that stereotypical island dialect.  I wanted to make him sound
authentic to the culture.  In doing so, I fear that I've sacrificed clarity.  
Would it be possible for you to read what I have written and perhaps offer
me a way of maintaining the Rasta sound and still keep the dialog flowing?

This is the first thing a prospective agent will read, so you know how
important it is for me to be clear as well as interesting.  I look forward to
sending you the work in question, just let me know if you would be willing
to assist.

Best Regards,

J.D.
Dallas, Georgia

ANSWER: Hi, J.D.

Unfortunately, I've never actually heard Rastafarian, so I wouldn't have a clue what it would look like on paper. But I have a few author friends who live down near Jamaica. I'd be happy to ask if they'd have time to give a SHORT bit of dialogue a look. I can't guarantee they'll have time, but I'll ask. Stay tuned... :)

Cathy

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank-you Cathy.  I can't believe you would be willing to do that for a
complete stranger. I truly appreciate it.  You are like me in the sense that I
had never seen or heard too terribly much Rastafarian-speak, however, I do
have a mental image of Bob Marley  and that is pretty much what my guy is
like.  Thanks for your candor and I hope one of your colleagues would be
willing to check my dialog.

Best Wishes,

JD

Answer
You're very welcome, JD! I just heard back from my friend. He's got a short break between books and would be willing to look at a couple of paragraphs. If you'll send it to me at: hunter5654@yahoo.com , I'll forward it to him. Try to include as much of the dialogue as you can from the meeting. If it's too long, I'll cut out the narrative so it doesn't take up too much of his time. He might answer you directly or might prefer to work through me. But he's from the region, so he'll know if it works. :)

Hope that helps!

Cathy