Expert: Dear Tabbi - 10/23/2008

Question
QUESTION: My cat, Jezabelle, has started getting mad at me me when I try to hold her and cuddle her. She never sits in my lap any more, and trys to avoid my picking her up too.

ANSWER: Allie,

You don't say how long you have had your cat, whether she is a kitten, or grown cat, or if she is spayed.

It sounds like your cat was a feral, or one or both parents, were feral. That is typical behavior of a feral cat or kitten. They can be loving, follow you around, sleep with you, etc. BUT they DO NOT like to be held (or restrained) or petted. If they let you pet them it's usually not for very long. They will bite or scratch you if you continue. Watch the tail and the ears. They will tell you when they do not like something, or they have had enough. If the tail starts to wag, or the ears go back, then stop what you are doing to them NOW.

Ferals are not like domesticated cats and will not behave like one. Usually they are NOT 'cuddly' cats. Their behavior and reactions are inherited and inbred. They are also skittish and spook easy. You need to understand that to get along.

I have some 'kittens' (a year and a half old) that I have had since birth. Their parents were feral. They will not let me hold them or cuddle them, and only one (she is blind) will enjoy being petted for a long time in my lap...as long as I don't restrain her while she is laying there. But they are very sweet and loving otherwise.

I hope this helped.

Tabbi



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Jez is a year and a half, spayed, & I've had her since she was three months. I got her at my locale shelter. She was there with her two brothers and they were just strays. Jezabelle has always been a little love sponge, and some times still is. Is there some sort of treat or trick I can do with her? Thank you. Allie & Jezy

Answer
Allie,

When a cat has a sudden change in behavior it is good to take them for a checkup. She may have pain somewhere and it hurts for you to pick her up.

She may also be 'mad' at you for something. Food is a great bribe! Give her some tuna or tinned sardines in oil.

Try ignoring her completely for 2-3 days. Just feed her and don't say anything to her or try to pet her. Cats do not like to be ignored! She should start coming to you for attention. Don't give her any until after the time is up. Then, pet her, BUT only briefly...leave her wanting more. Keep that up going longer each time. She should be better after that.

If not, then respect how she feels ,and how she is, and don't try to cuddle her or pick her up. She will come lay next to you if she knows you are not going to try to restrain her. Pet her but don't pick her up.

I hope these suggestions work for you.

Tabbi