Expert: Dear Tabbi - 5/29/2008

Question
Q1. We have a lovely ragdoll, who is in many ways more like a puppy than a cat, so some of the info I read about cats just doesn't ring true for her...anyway.  She's never been a lap cat, an unlikely trait of a ragdoll. She's never jumped on a lap or come up onto the couch to cuddle. She need cuddling, but on her 'turf', or at night. How do I get her to be more of a lap cat?
Q2.She's become more vocal, much more vocal since spring weather.  We walk her on a leash in the yard, but once she gets a taste of being outside, simply looking out an open window will not do and she meows...I reach for the water bottle.  I don't mind taking her outside, but I don't want her to control when, any suggestions?  The other time she meows is in the morning.  She is sometimes ready sooner than we to begin the day and she dosn't want to begin it alone. She meows, jumps on and off the bed and paces and meows, she's not in need of food or water, just the house to be alive and people milling about, this is mostly a nice trait, but sometimes we want to sleep in on a weekend...any advice?  
Also a note, she's generally easy to train, except these couple challenges.  We've trained her to play gently, use her scratch posts not furniture, when we first got her she wanted on the counter and we stopped that quickly and pretty easily with a firm voice 'down' and a shake of a water bottle (sometimes a squirt)  anyway, your input is appreciated.

Answer
Ava,

Is she a registered cat or could she have been a feral kitten? If she has any feral cat in her from a parent then that is normal behavior for them. They can be very loving but they do not like to be held, or even petted for very long. Yet they will follow you and lay next to you, just not ON you.

Her behavior is probably her basic personality which may improve but probably won't change. You can't force a cat to be a cuddly lap cat. Is she spayed? I'm guessing she is, but if not, then she would  become vocal during the spring mating season.

Cats love to be outside, especially when the weather gets warm, that's normal. You can't let her make demands though. A cat will test you and try you to see what they can get away with. Especially if they are bored. You have to be firm (and consistant).

Play with her right before you go to bed. A pet laser light is an excellent interactive toy (you can get them at PetSmart, Petco, etc.)  A good play session before bedtime will tire her out which will help her sleep later (hopefully).

DO NOT punish or yell at the cat for trying to wake you up. She is only trying to get your attention  the only way she knows how. If that behavior got your attention before, then she will continue doing it.

The way to stop her from waking you up is to ignore her. COMPLETELY! It is very difficult and annoying, but you can not acknowledge her actions in ANY way. She will EVENTUALLY stop when she doesn't get any reaction or attention from you. You have to be consistant though. If you even react once to her, then it won't work and it will be worse because the cat will know if she does it long enough eventually you WILL react, so she will keep it up (she hasn't got anything else to do).

Something to consider though. A cat goes by habit and routine. She has no concept of 'weekends'. So if you get her on a timetable of not waking you up earlier than a certain time during the week you can't expect her to wake you up later on weekends.

You might also think about getting a kitty friend for her about the same age. That would give her somebody to play with and to keep her company which would take some of the pressure off of you to keep her entertained. It's not good for a cat to depend too much on humans for their companionship and play. A single cat is more likely to be annoying, demanding, and more destructive due to lack of stimulation
and companionship. Plus if you had a kitty friend for her you could lock them both out of the bedroom on weekends and let them amuse themselves while you sleep in.

These are just some suggestions that I hope will help. The length of time that behavior modification takes depends on the cat's personality and temperment, and your level of patience. Be firm but with love...and consistancy!

Tabbi