Expert: Dear Tabbi - 6/17/2008

Question
I have an 8 year old male cat, and have just adopted a female kitten (now 10 weeks old, I've had her almost 4 weeks). The older cat is not very tolderant of the new arrival, though he tends to just stay out of her way, or growl a bit if she gets too much. She is constantly following him, creeping up on him and trying to play. Although they never attack each other, and things are improving (they will now happily eat side by side), they are certainly not friends yet! The older male does seem to be getting less grumpy with her but it's a slow process - will this improve with time? I try to give them equal attention, and give them each some 'alone time'. Also, the kitten has started some very strange behaviour with the tom... she goes up to him, puts her head down low on the floor (submissive?) and thrashes her body around almost as if she's having a fit, whilst always keeping her head down and maintaining eye contact with him! She doesn't seem distressed, and she's an extremely lively kitten anyway, but the tom gets annoyed with this and I find it very strange! What on earth is she doing, and should I worry?!

Answer
Sally,

The main issue I see here is that you only adopted ONE kitten. With an older resident cat, especially a male, you need to have TWO kittens.

The reasons are varied. Most male cats do not like kittens until they have grown up. Older cats usually do not care for kittens because of their energy level and the fact that they ruin an older cat's routine and peace. A kitten, if it is healthy, will have lots of energy and will like to play a lot. When the only other playmate for the kitten is an older cat she will try to play with him as she would another with another kitten. That causes problems. For the older cat...and for the kitten, who gets confused and can get depressed and lose heart because the older cat won't play and will growl at her.

When you have 2 kittens they play together with rough-house kitty play, chase each other, and play normal kitty games, and then snuggle together for comfort and companionship. They tend to leave the older cat alone more. That relieves the older cat is he is not interested in playing, but leaves the option open if he does. As it stands now you have basically gotten a 5 year old friend (in human years) for a 48 year old (in human years) cat.

Growling, slaps, and hisses are nothing to worry about. They are just "kitty communication". That is the way the older cat tells the younger cat to keep her distance, what the rules of "his house" are, etc.

By the kitten's submissive behavior she is showing the older cat that "she is a cute kitty and loveable" and because of that the older cat should play with her! She is also trying to show that she comes as friend and not foe and that she is accepting that he is the dominant cat. He is NOT impressed.

The best you can probably hope for is that the older cat accepts the kitten...even though they may never be 'friends', which is really not fair to a happy, lively kitten who WANTS to be friends and playmates. When you get a friend for a resident cat it should be one close in age and temperment. A single kitten is not a good choice, even though it is a very nice gesture by you for the kitten.

As the kitten grows and gets more secure and self-confident she may intesify her annoying behavior towards your older cat out of boredom or to expend energy. That may cause the older cat to become stressed or cause behavior problems (like inappropriate elimination). Or it can cause the older cat to be aggressive towards the younger cat out of frustration.

It may work out OK, but my suggestion would be to go back soon and get another kitten about your kitten's age and temperment, or ideally, a littermate (brother or sister of your kitten).

Tabbi