Expert: Dear Tabbi - 6/2/2008

Question
I have recently inherited a cat of 15 years. She was my (now passed) grandmother's cat. For her whole life, all that the cat knew was my grandmother and her apartment. The thing is, i feel like my last act for my grandmother is to help this cat. I don't want her pining away, and i would really like to be her friend. She's currently shut away from our other two cats (She's never been around other cats either) but anytime i get too close to her hiding space, she hisses, and when i try to reach her she'll hit me and bite me. All i want is to be her friend. How can i help her get to know me and like me?

Answer
Kate,

I'm sorry about your grandmother. It is nice of you to take her cat. Her cat is approximately 76 years old in human years and she cannot take stress like a younger cat can.

She is confused and depressed right now. She doesn't understand why she is suddenly in an unfamiliar place with new people, and other animals. Let her stay hiding where she feels safe and secure. Don't try to force to do anything. She will come out when she is ready...and that may take a long while. Don't try to pet her or drag her out. Let her get used to you first and learn to trust you. Bring her some kitty treats if she will eat, like some tuna, sardines (in oil), etc. Just sit in the room with her and talk gently to her. Have a litterbox and her food and water near by.

I would keep her separated from your cats for a while until she adjusts to you and her new home. Introductions to new cats may be too much right now. If she shows signs of severe depression or starts pulling out her fur I would ask the vet about putting her on 'kitty prozac' for a short term to keep her calm. You need to give her lots of love and attention to reassure her. Do not leave any doors open for awhile because she may try to 'go home'. Putting a collar on her with your address and phone number would be playing it safe in case it happened and she got lost.

I am including some good links to articles that will help you with the introduction process. Copy and paste, or type, the whole links into your address bar:

Here is a good article about cats grieving:
http://www.messybeast.com/cat-grief.htm

Introducing cats to older cats:

http://www.messybeast.com/Oldcat.htm#addition
http://www.understandinganimals.com/article/7
http://www.messybeast.com/first-impressions.htm

Good luck with her.

Tabbi