Expert: Dear Tabbi - 7/30/2008

Question
So I have a 15 year old calico femaile that I have had most my life and just last week I brought home an 8 week old Orange tabby boy and she absolutely hates him! I really do not want to have to take the kitten away but is there anything that I can do while the tabby is young so that they can at least tolerate each other or should I just let time work it out?
Thanks so much!!
~Morgan
(they each have their own rooms that the other is not allowed in)

Answer
Morgan,

To be blunt, Your first mistake was to bring home a friend for a 15 year old cat (ESPECIALLY a Calico!), the 2nd mistake was to bring home a KITTEN, and the third, was bringing home just one kitten. Your cat is 76 years old in human years and you have brought her an energetic, playful, 2 year old (in human years) playmate that still needs the comfort of the mother or siblings that your cat won't give the kitten.

Older cats usually do not care for kittens because of their energy level and the fact that they ruin an older cat's routine and peace. A kitten, if it is healthy, will have lots of energy and will like to play a lot. When the only other playmate for the kitten is an old cat he will try to play with her as he would another with another kitten. That causes problems. For the older cat...and for the kitten, who gets confused and can get depressed and lose heart because the older cat won't play and will growl and hiss at him. The kitten will try to play with the older cat who is really past the age of playing kitty games like chase or roughhousing, like the kitten needs or wants, and that is not fair to the kitten, or to your older cat, who should be your first priority.

It has a better than none chance of working if you get 2 kittens together. That way they can play with each other and burn off energy and mostly will leave the older cat alone. Kittens need a friend to roughhouse with, play chase and other kitty games with, to snuggle with, to be companions with, and to be comforted by when they are so young, and when they are alone.

It's not fair to the kitten OR the Calico to have to be locked up to keep the cats separate. The old cat will be stressed, may quit eating, and start pulling out her fur. She will be stressed no matter what by the kitten. Calico's are VERY territorial!! And she will be even more stressed by two kittens, but if you have one kitten you NEED 2 for the happiness of the kitten. A kind of catch-22 situation.

As the kitten grows and gets more secure and self-confident he may intesify his annoying behavior towards your older cat out of boredom or to expend energy. Older cats don't take stress as well as a younger cat can and you may end up with stress related behavior from the older cat (including improper elimination, aggression towards the kitten or you, etc.), a permanent personality change, or it can cause health problems. It can also cause behavior problems with the kitten that may be hard to correct.

It can take months for them to get along. Alot of times they will never be 'friends' and the best you can hope for is acceptance by the older cat. There is also the chance it will not work out at all. My suggestion would be to go back soon and get another kitten about your kitten's age and temperment, OR consider all feelings involved and return the one kitten for now.

Tabbi