Expert: Dear Tabbi - 7/18/2008

Question
I trravel a lot for work.  Feeling bad for my older cat being alone I got a kitten about four months ago.  My older cat is 10 years old.  She is not very sociable or lovable toward anyone but me, but I thought she'd be okay with a kitten.  At first she wasn't and was very aggressive toward the kitten, but soon mellowed out.  Now, it's the kitten who is aggressive and bullying the older cat, and the older cat is not the same. She runs away from the kitten, she no longer sleeps with me or comes into the room if they kitten is there.  She always hisses if the kitten comes near her and this makes the kitten want to chase her or push her out of position.  The kitten will jump on the cat if she is on my lap or if I'm petting her.  The kitten makes me mad because she is trying to push the older cat around, and I feel bad for my older cat yet try to give them both attention.  I just wish the kitten would leave her be then I'm sure my cat would be okay as she prefers to ignore the kitten but the kitten won't leave her alone, so then the cat runs away from her back to the bedroom and under the bed. Help!  The whole reason I got the kitten seems to have been defeated, and now I can't imagine getting rid of the kitten which I don't plan/want to do, but I do want to fix it.  The kitten is spayed but I have seen no changes in behavior.

Answer
M,

I'm sorry to say that getting a kitten as a companion for an elderly cat is the wrong thing to do for your cat and for the kitten. Your cat is 56 years old in human years and you got her a 10 year old (in human years) for a friend. It usually only has a chance of working if you get 2 kittens together. That way they can play with each other and burn off energy and mostly will leave the older cat alone. Now, the kitten is used to everything and is trying to play with the older cat who is really past the age of playing kitty games like chase or roughhousing, like the kitten needs or wants. But the kitten will more than likely keep trying to prevent boredom, and may escalate her annoying behavior. That's not fair to the kitten, or to your older cat who should be your first priority.

A 10 year old cat is set in her routine. They don't take stress as well as a younger cat can and you may end up with stress related behavior from the older cat (including improper elimination, aggression towards the kitten or you, etc.), a permanent personality change, or it can cause health problems. It can also cause behavior problems with the kitten that may be hard to correct.

It can take months for them to get along. Alot of times they will never be 'friends' and the best you can hope for is acceptance by the older cat. Your intentions were good but there is the chance it will not work out.

You can try leaving them alone together. A lot of what the kitten is doing may be for show and attention, and if you aren't around, things may quiet down. BUT the kitten still needs somebody to play with. A bored kitten can be a destructive kitten. I hope you can work this out, but it wont be easy.

Tabbi