Expert: Dear Tabbi - 8/27/2008

Question
Good afternoon.
I had two brothers - George and Harry - since kittenhood.  George passed away at the end of March after a long illness and Harry seems to be rather lonely.  Would it be fair to take a kitten or kittens or would it be too stressful to Harry who will be 14 in October.  He is a friendly cat, he likes people (on his own terms of course) and is also friends with a tabbie cat who lives down the road.

Answer
Sarah,

It is iffy whether your 14 year old will accept or even want a kitten or another cat around. He is grieving for the other cat, which he can do for up to 6 months. Sometimes another cat helps, sometimes it doesn't. It depends on the personality and temperment of the cat. Older cats also do not take stress as well as a younger cat, and are not as accepting of changes in the household.

In my opinion, a kitten is really not a good choice as a companion for an 14 year old cat. You have a cat that is 72 years old (in human years) and you are getting it a 5 year old (in human years) friend. It would be better to adopt a cat similar in age and temperment, if at all. Though he may surprise you, most older cats do NOT like kittens, at least until they are grown. Maybe it is their smell or their energy level.

If you want to get a kitten, it is better that you get two of them. That way they can play with each other and not always be bothering the older cat to play. A kitten's energy level is not the same as an older cat's and that's not fair to the kitten who will not understand why your older cat doesn't want to play all the time. As the kitten grows and gets more secure and self-confident it may intesify it's annoying behavior towards your older cat out of boredom or to expend energy. That may cause the older cat to become stressed or cause behavior problems (like inappropriate elimination). Or it can cause the older cat to be aggressive towards the younger cat out of frustration. Just some things to consider.

With a kitten or cat you will need to go through the introduction process with the 14 year old. With an older cat it may take longer. Usually for younger cats it takes about 2 weeks, with an older cat it can take a month or a lot more. Again, everything depends on the personalities and temperments involved. Hissing, spitting, and slaps are normal kitty communication. You only need to worry if there are ears pinned back flat, blood being shed, or major fur flying. Also keep your cats claws trimmed so there aren't any deadly points.

Here are some good links for more information on introductions and older cats: (copy and paste or type the whole links into your address bar)

Here is a good article about cats grieving:
http://www.messybeast.com/cat-grief.htm

Introducing cats to older cats:
http://www.messybeast.com/Oldcat.htm#addition

http://www.understandinganimals.com/article/7

http://www.messybeast.com/first-impressions.htm

http://www.littlebigcat.com/index.php?action=library&act=show&item=cattodogintro...

I am also including some excellent links on losing a cat and support:
http://www.2ndchance.info/grieving.htm
http://www.pet-loss.net/links.html

Here is a WONDERFUL website where you can have a lasting memorial for your pet, or share your pain with others who have lost beloved pets. It's a very beautiful and moving site:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/hello.htm

I hope this information is helpful.

Tabbi