Expert: Dear Tabbi - 8/26/2008

Question
How to treat this type of separation anxiety in a 9 week old kitten?

Hi Lalya, I just adopted a 9 week old kitten and she is adjusting to her new home. She lived with her cat mom and two male cat siblings before in a nice home.  She now lives with me and my 1 year old male neutered cat in a nice home.  The cats get along great, in fact too great.  When I separate them (so I can have alone time with her, she has tantrums, cries, bites and scratches ...does anything and everything to get away from me and to get his attention.  When angry only the cat can soothe her.  I think she has replaced her mom with my cat. How can I get thru to her and bond with her, if she will not allow me?  She was not hostile with her previous human owners.  In fact she used to sleep on top of them all the time. She is not afraid of humans or me, she just wants me to leave her alone with my cat..which is ok, but again, I think she is not bonding with me, only wants to play with him.  I am bottle feeding her cat milk (formula) to bond and to let her know I am her new mom..I am just very frustrated.  My first cat was so much easier and easy going.  She has a really strong willed personality and I don't mind that, I just want to be included.

Answer
Dally,

I'm sorry our other expert is no longer available to answer your question so I am trying to get them answered.

The cat is still very young and is adjusting to her new life and new home. Yes, your other cat is a replacement but that is temporary. It is like being on a cat planet where there is only one human. You will naturally be attracted to that human rather than the "cat people" until you adjust and adapt.

You can't force a cat to bond with you. Like any relationship you have to take it slow and let it develop.

Give the kitten some time to grow and adjust. And let her get comfort and companionship from your other cat. That is a good thing.....it's someone from her 'planet' that she can relate to and learn from.

Tabbi