Cat Training and Behavior (Domestic and Feral)/Not bonding with new cat

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Expert: Dear Tabbi - 9/8/2008


Question
I adopted a second cat.  She is 9 weeks old, not spayed, (not yet).  She used to live with her cat mom and siblings in a very nice home and was very loving towards cats and humans.(which is why we adopted her).  Our house cat, male 1 yr old neutered has never had any contact with cats, so we were very afraid of how they would interact with each other.  I practiced the "safe room" procedure to bring new cat and the cats got along rather quickly (within one or two days) they became inseparable.  The problem is that she (new cat) has bonded with my old cat, but not with us.  I have tried bottle feeding milk, I have tried spending time alone and with the second cat, but she doesn't want to be with us, she only wants to be with my cat.  I think she has replaced her cat mom with my cat.  What can I do to bond with her before she grows up to be an aloof cat.  I understand cats have their own personalities, but she used to be very human friendly (basically a lap cat) and now she cries when picked up.

Answer
Dally,

She is very young yet and everything is still new to her. She bonds with your older cat because he IS a cat. Give her time to get used to you. Bonding isn't instant, the same as it's not with most humans.

Food is a great source for getting her attached to you. Give her yummy kitty treats like tinned sardines (in oil), tuna, etc. She will associate you with things that are pleasant.

Also get a pet laser light. That helps build confidence and helps the bonding along. And both cats will enjoy it.

Give her time...she will come to love you when she acclimates to her new surroundings and owner.

Tabbi

Cat Training and Behavior (Domestic and Feral)

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Dear Tabbi

Expertise

My expertise is in helping people understand their cat (or cats) and their behavior. Questions are welcome even if you don't have a cat....just a question about them. Hopefully my experience, suggestions, and comments will be of help to you...and your cat (or cats). Looking through my past responses to questions will give you additional information and/or answers too. Domestic Cats = cats (no matter what breed) who are tame or not wild, or abandoned cats who were pets that became wild, but can be tamed again. Ferals = cats who are born with one or more parents who were wild stray cats. They usually have had no interactions with people. They have an inbred distrust of humans and are difficult to socialize. They are skittish, hide, and are afraid of people. They take a lot of time and patience to work with them. A lot of kittens from shelters had a feral parent.

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Since I was a child, over 45 years, I have been owned by a LOT of cats and kittens of almost every temperament, behavior, and personality. I have had experience with neurotic, disabled (including blind), stray, and 'problem child' cats and kittens. (A few normal cats too!) Plus all the things a lifetime of owning cats and research has taught me. I also have experience in feral cat behavior (which is different from domestic cats), and some experience with feral colonies that includes colony feeding and feral cat TNR (trap/neuter/release).

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