Expert: Dear Tabbi - 1/27/2009

Question
I adopted a couple of feral cats from a shelter two years ago. One of them has adjusted very well to human companions. The other however has remained as fearful as the day she came home. I have never been able to pet this poor cat. She will not take treats from me. It doesn't matter how slowly I approach or softly I speak. I am wondering if you have any advice for me. Is it possible that she will never adjust? (She is about 2.5 years old now.) I am happy to keep her whether she changes or not, I just feel heartbroken because she won't let me love her.

Answer
Lisa,

It depends on the age of the feral. The older the cat is the less chance you have of taming it.

Ferals CAN become affectionate and loving, but it takes a LONG time for them to reach that point. And when they do they do, they still do not like to be held, restrained, and rarely even petted. There is human distrust inherited and inbred into them. They will never be a typical housecat. As newborns or young kittens you have a better chance for a friendly kitty, but even then they still carry the feral behavior with them.

I have 4 feral cats who I have had since they were born (they are about a year and a half old) that were from a vicious feral mother who sneaked into my house and had kittens under my bed! The mother lived in the house for 6 months because she wouldn't go back outside. In all that time I only touched her once...and she bit me hard! She was as wild 6 months later when she died of her feral illnesses as she was from day one. We learned to co-habitate. She was fine as long as I NEVER looked at her or acknowledged her presence. When she came out to eat I had to freeze until she was done and went back under the bed. The kittens are all sweet and loving but still won't be held for longer than 2 minutes. And they are varying degrees of spooky with people and noises. 2 will only let me pet them when they have a toy in their mouth!

I currently have a trap/neuter/release stray that wandered here from somewhere. She stayed outside then decided to come in too. I can pet her and pick her up only for a short time, but usually it's when she wants something different to eat than what is available. The rest of the time I can pet her maybe twice before she comes out swinging with her paws and she pins her ears back. She also ruins the harmony of all my cats getting along because she is a grouchy cat and has picked 2 of mine that she tries to intimidate, and growls at the others. Luckily she stays and sleeps in one spot and doesn't roam around.

They are natural hunters and enjoy being able to do it. If you keep them inside all the time then you have to satisfy that hunting urge inside to keep them mentally well-balanced. Giving them a raw beef rib bone (I have the butcher cut them in half) satisfies the "fresh kill'. Plus the fibers help clean their teeth. They need stuffed toy mice you can throw so they can chase it and "catch" it. A pet laser light is great for letting them try to catch the "little red bug" on the walls, floors, and ceilings. Mine love little sparkley craft balls that you can get in a package at Wal-Mart or a crafts store.

Keeping a feral can be difficult. They take special handling because of their hereditary baggage and emotional problems they can have from it. Some will NEVER trust humans. It's not you, it's the cat. Don't feel bad about it.

Tabbi