Cat Training and Behavior (Domestic and Feral)/My cat

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Expert: Dear Tabbi - 2/24/2009


Question
Hi Please help!! My husband and i have recently given a 6 year old female maine coone and new home.Her owner was moving over seas. She is very friendly and would often come and bug us to play and to cuddle her. We have had her for 5 months now. 3 months ago my husband had to take her to the vets and had to chase her round the house to get her in a carry box, it wasnt good and Tiddles didnt forgive him for a long time afterwards. She would run away from him every time he came in the house. We did lots of stuff to help like only getting him to feed and groom her. She lets him stroke her and pick her up but she never goes to him if he calls, she just ignores him. She has a cat flap so she comes and goes as she pleases. When my husband is home without me she stays on the all outside all day and wont come in until hes in bed or in the bath, it appears she doesnt like him walking around! She's just not very happy, she seems like she doesnt really like me that much anymore but she still comes for strokes and cuddles when she feels like it! When i close the cat flap at night all she does is sit by it and wait until we open it again and she buggers off out til we have gone to bed!!
I feel like we have been trying so hard now and she just doesnt give much back at all!!!

Answer
Joan,

When the cat first came to you she was scared and unsure which can make a cat loveable. Then as she acclimates to her new surroundings, her regular personality comes out. Did you ask the people you got her from how she was and how she acted with them?

A kitty companion about her own age for her to play kitty games and for company with may help.

I would suggest that your husband COMPLETELY ignore the cat for awhile, and you might too (except for feeding and taking care of her). Cats HATE to be ignored! You should find that she starts coming around you for attention. Don't give it to her for about 3 days. Then when you do, give her a couple of pets and no more at first. Leave her wanting more! Then gradually keep giving her pets more until she is her friendly self again.

Don't try so hard.

I hope this helps.

Tabbi

Cat Training and Behavior (Domestic and Feral)

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Dear Tabbi

Expertise

My expertise is in helping people understand their cat (or cats) and their behavior. Questions are welcome even if you don't have a cat....just a question about them. Hopefully my experience, suggestions, and comments will be of help to you...and your cat (or cats). Looking through my past responses to questions will give you additional information and/or answers too. Domestic Cats = cats (no matter what breed) who are tame or not wild, or abandoned cats who were pets that became wild, but can be tamed again. Ferals = cats who are born with one or more parents who were wild stray cats. They usually have had no interactions with people. They have an inbred distrust of humans and are difficult to socialize. They are skittish, hide, and are afraid of people. They take a lot of time and patience to work with them. A lot of kittens from shelters had a feral parent.

Experience

Since I was a child, over 45 years, I have been owned by a LOT of cats and kittens of almost every temperament, behavior, and personality. I have had experience with neurotic, disabled (including blind), stray, and 'problem child' cats and kittens. (A few normal cats too!) Plus all the things a lifetime of owning cats and research has taught me. I also have experience in feral cat behavior (which is different from domestic cats), and some experience with feral colonies that includes colony feeding and feral cat TNR (trap/neuter/release).

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