Expert: Dear Tabbi - 3/5/2009

Question
QUESTION: I have had a Balinese (not thorough bred) since he was three weeks old.  He is now 10 months and neutered.  First thing in the morning he likes to be stroked and a few times later on.  But by the evening, although he jumps up to sleep on my lap if I attempt to stroke him the tail starts to lash and eventually he will grab my hands and start biting.  I have had lots of cats, I love them, and I have never encountered this kind of behaviour before.  It’s as if he hates to be touched.  Have you any advice?

It would be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks,

Peter.


ANSWER: Peter,

It sounds very much like one of his parents was feral. That is standard behavior for a feral. Their distrust of humans is inherited. They are not like domestic house cats and will not behave like one. If the kitten had only one feral parent you will have a more loving cat but still with some of the feral behavior.

Ferals can be very loving, follow you around, and sleep next to you BUT they DO NOT like to be held or petted for very long. They also usually only bond to one person...the one that takes care of their needs. He will probably be skittish too.

I have some feral kittens I have had from birth, but at a year and a half, they still won't let me 'cuddle' them. They instantly squirm to get down, or growl if I don't let go of them. I understand that and don't press the issue because it just upsets them. Two of the 4 will get on my lap and settle down, as long as they are free to jump down anytime.

I have another grown cat that had a feral parent and the only time she wants to be petted is when she is hungry or wants out. I can only pet her a couple times before she gets vocal and strikes. Again, that is common behavior.

To protect yourself from bites or scratches you need to watch the feral  closely. They will give you warnings when they have had enough petting or touching. Ears will pin back, they may growl, but the main sign is their tail. If it starts twitching or swishing back and forth, the time to stop petting them is....NOW! When you have a feral that doesn't like to be touched....don't. Respect how the cat is and accept it. It will make for a happier living situation. Biting is a reflex action for protection. Pet from behind the head. Coming from the front is a recipe for claws coming out or being bit because that is a threatening gesture. So is looking at them straight in the eye. They do like to have their shoulders 'massaged' and some will tolerate that rather than petting. With one hand gently massage at the base of their neck.

They are very sensitive too so watch raising your voice at him, and don't ever swat him. That will regress any progress you have made and make it harder to regain his trust again. Give him lots of love and attention but don't try to cuddle him or force your affections on him. Let him come to you as he feels comfortable.

Ferals are hunters and enjoy being able to do it. If you keep them inside all the time then you need to satisfy that hunting urge  to keep them mentally well-balanced. Giving them a raw beef rib bone periodically as a treat (I have the butcher cut them in half) satisfies the "fresh kill'. Plus the fibers help clean their teeth. You should give him things to 'hunt'...like stuffed toy mice, little crafts balls that you can throw (all my feral kitten 'retrieve' when I throw them), or a pet laser light (Petco, PetSmart, etc.) so that he can chase the little red 'bug' on the walls, ceilings, and floors. It is a great interactive toy between you and the cat, and it helps you bond.

Be patient and understanding to the cat, and listen to what he is telling you about what he likes and doesn't like. You will get along better and have fewer scratches.



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi,

First of all many, many thanks for that long and extremely helpful answer.  
Your explanation seems absolutely right as he was found alone on the side of a road at three weeks of age. One point I am curious about and should have mentioned in my original question.  I am fostering a three year old female, neutered, dog.  She is smaller than the Balinese and acts like a puppy.  However she is constantly fighting with him, in a playful way, but he rolls over and plays back, tail flicking and this can go on for up to twenty minutes.  Yet if I tried that it would get nasty!  He never uses his claws with me but will bite and sometimes when he is still purring!


If you have the time I would love to hear your comments on the above behavior.

And again my very sincere thanks, you provide a wonderful service.

Regards,

Peter.


Answer
Peter,

What a beautiful cat! He is lucky that he found a wonderful home with a caring owner. So many cats and kittens die everyday scared and alone, never having known enough food, affection, attention, or the warmth of a home. That was kind of you to rescue him and provide those things.

Your cat gets along and plays with your foster dog because the dog is not a threat and he feels safe and secure with him, and can bond with the dog (you probably should keep the dog!). It is humans that the cat inherently distrusts. One of my 1/2 ferals will follow and try to rub against any dog she sees being walked. But if the owner tries to talk to her (or horrors...tries to pet her) she runs off immediately. If they have a long leash and completely ignore her then she will attach herself to their dog as long as she can (if the dog will allow it).

The biting when purring is over-stimulation and the cat's reaction to it. It is kind of like the cat likes being petted and it feels good, but they aren't supposed to like it and it confuses them. Try to pet for a short time then stop. Or tell him sharply "don't bite!" and push him away then ignore him for awhile. And try petting again. Repeat if he bites again. Cats go by association, plus ferals are sensitive, so he will soon (hopefully) associate biting with the tone of your voice. My ferals know not to bite, but even though they still will get one in once in a while.

Be careful if the cat ever has any pain, then they WILL bite! I guess they blame humans for anything wrong with them. One of mine has herpes of the eye and when it flares up it is painful. She will walk by me and out of the blue bite me...leg or arm, which ever is handy! Luckily it's not too often that that happens, but it is a common reaction to pain with ferals...or if they get mad.

I hope this helps, and if you have more questions, feel free to ask anytime and I will try to help you.

Tabbi