About Dear Tabbi Expertise My expertise is in helping people understand their cat (or cats) and their behavior. Questions are welcome even if you don't have a cat....just a question about them. Hopefully my experience, suggestions, and comments will be of help to you...and your cat (or cats). Looking through my past responses to questions will give you additional information and/or answers too.
Domestic Cats = cats (no matter what breed) who are tame or not wild, or abandoned cats who were pets that became wild, but can be tamed again.
Ferals = cats who are born with one or more parents who were wild stray cats. They usually have had no interactions with people. They have an inbred distrust of humans and are difficult to socialize. They are skittish, hide, and are afraid of people. They take a lot of time and patience to work with them. A lot of kittens from shelters had a feral parent.
Experience Since I was a child, over 45 years, I have been owned by a LOT of cats and kittens of almost every temperament, behavior, and personality. I have had experience with neurotic, disabled (including blind), stray, and 'problem child' cats and kittens. (A few normal cats too!) Plus all the things a lifetime of owning cats and research has taught me. I also have experience in feral cat behavior (which is different from domestic cats), and some experience with feral colonies that includes colony feeding and feral cat TNR (trap/neuter/release).
Education/Credentials ***********
Awards and Honors * One of the top 50 Experts Of 2008 *
Question We recently added a male neutered cat to the family. We now have three. Our oldest female spade cat (who we got from a cat shelter) has always been unfriendly, distant, and mean at times. It used to be that sometimes when you picked her up, she would hiss and try and claw you. Now, since the addition of the male, she is doing it with everyone. My two daughters have been severly clawed. The other two cats are fine with each other and they are both sweet cats. Since she was unfriendly from the beginning, I'm not sure giving her away to another family would be the right thing to do. In this situation, is the best thing to euthanize?
Answer Skerckhof,
She more than likely was a feral cat or one, or both, parents were feral. That is typical behavior of a feral cat. They have a distrust of humans that is inherited and inbred in them. They are not like domesticated house cats and will not behave like one. They usually only bond to one person and though they may be loveable, they do NOT like to be held, or usually petted either. It takes a VERY long time for them to learn to trust and relax, and the older they are the less chance you have of socializing them. They are also very spooky at strange noises or people and usually will run and hide. When they are stressed or upset they will lash out. You need to watch their ears and tail for the warning signs. If the ears pin back, they growl, or the tail starts swishing side to side, that is when to leave them alone NOW or you will get bit or scratched.
When you bring a new cat into the home you can't just put it together with other cats and expect them to get along. You are lucky with the other cat. You need to go through an introduction period that may take 2 weeks, 2 months, or longer.
I am attaching a couple of links on how to go about the introduction process to give you an idea:
(copy and paste, or type the whole links into your address bar)
I would leave her alone. Don't mess with her when she has an attitude like that, especially your daughters. If you want to try it, just ignore her and let her adjust and adapt on her own time. They are like some people that have anger management issues and emotional problems. If she wants attention let her come to you. If not, just feed her and let her be.
You may want to make her an outdoor cat. Put her food, water, and a blanket outside. She may be happier being outside especially if she is a feral. They are natural born hunters and can get angry and upset being locked in the house.
I can't tell you to euthanize her...I would get screaming people from everywhere if I did. It is a personal judgment call. You may have to do whatever you need to do to have harmony (and safety) in the home.
