About Dear Tabbi Expertise My expertise is in helping people understand their cat (or cats) and their behavior. Questions are welcome even if you don't have a cat....just a question about them. Hopefully my experience, suggestions, and comments will be of help to you...and your cat (or cats). Looking through my past responses to questions will give you additional information and/or answers too.
Domestic Cats = cats (no matter what breed) who are tame or not wild, or abandoned cats who were pets that became wild, but can be tamed again.
Ferals = cats who are born with one or more parents who were wild stray cats. They usually have had no interactions with people. They have an inbred distrust of humans and are difficult to socialize. They are skittish, hide, and are afraid of people. They take a lot of time and patience to work with them. A lot of kittens from shelters had a feral parent.
Experience Since I was a child, over 45 years, I have been owned by a LOT of cats and kittens of almost every temperament, behavior, and personality. I have had experience with neurotic, disabled (including blind), stray, and 'problem child' cats and kittens. (A few normal cats too!) Plus all the things a lifetime of owning cats and research has taught me. I also have experience in feral cat behavior (which is different from domestic cats), and some experience with feral colonies that includes colony feeding and feral cat TNR (trap/neuter/release).
Education/Credentials ***********
Awards and Honors * One of the top 50 Experts Of 2008 *
Question dear tabbi
i have a followup the last time we spoke i asked you a question if my it was okay that my older cat adopted her daughters young kittens as her own and started nursing them then i asked a followup that what should i do when my older cat gave birth and miscarried all of them?
now i need your help again im down to my last hope my older cat had a miscarriage and unfortunately none of her kittens survived but she had her daughters kittens to adopt so she didnt take it so hard but now i have a bigger problem i kept one of the daughters kittens and the daughter doesnt get along with her own son at all she attacks him everytime he comes near her and this has caused chaos between her and her mother when she goes to attack her son her mother defends the son thus resulting in the mother and daughter getting into a fight i dont know what to do anymore the aggression or stress is escalating fast that it came down to the other day that i picked the daughter up and she scratched and bit me on my face i don't know what to do i cant tolerate that type of behavior in my house and its hard for me im a very busy person and im hardly ever home and i just dont know what to do i dont wanna give her up but im afraid if i cant help her its gonna result in that.
Answer Monique,
One, please do not try to pick up an agitated/frenzied cat. Let them calm down first. For some reason, when a mother cat fights, other cats get in a frenzy and jump into it without knowing the reason or who is fighting who. And when in a frenzy, they will attack each other...and you if you get near them when they are like that.
Cats do not have any concept of family. Once a kitten is weaned, the mother no longer recognizes her baby as "family". The kitten/cat becomes just another cat who is familiar by smell. That is why there is so much incest among animals.
I have forgotten how old the kitten would be now. There are a couple of possibilities for the mother cat's behavior. If the kitten is still fairly small, then the mother may be teaching the baby how to fight. It looks and sounds scary, but it is normal behavior. The kitten may be trying to nurse again and she is 'weaning' him by fighting him off, or so it looks like. Again, that is normal behavior.
Do all 3 cats get along otherwise? Do they eat together, sleep together groom each other, and/or play together? What appears to be 'fighting' sometimes is just a form of kitty communication. Is there major fur flying or blood being shed? If not then it usually looks worse than it really is.
It would be a VERY good time to get all 3 cats spayed and neutered. Doing that will cure a LOT of behavior problems. A kitten can be fixed at 8-10 weeks old not. I just had 2 kittens neutered and they were 10 1/2 weeks old. A neighbor had her female kitten spayed at 10 weeks old.
