Expert: Dear Tabbi - 8/22/2009

Question
My husband and I have two indoor cats in an apartment. We raised Lily from kittenhood and she just turned 5. She is gentle and lazy and shy with strangers. Sonny was adopted at 2 years of age and he is 3 and a half now. He is extremely active and a sweet lap cat to his humans. We love them both dearly, but they hate each other. Sonny tries to "play" with Lily but she wants nothing to do with it. She hisses and screams at him but he always hounds her. My husband and I try and play with Sonny throughout the day to keep him occupied, which he thoroughly enjoys. However, he still stalks her relentlessly. We love both our cats and will never get rid of either of them. I would love it if they loved each other like we love them both, but I would settle for casual indifference.

Answer
Susie,

Cats are just like real kids in a lot of ways. Remember how a little brother would torment a big sister? No two cats are the same nor do they all have the same personalities and behaviors.

Hissing, slaps, screaming, etc. are "kitty communications" and warnings. That is the way the older cat tells the younger cat to keep his distance, what the rules of "his house" are, etc. When to be concerned is if there are ears pinned back, blood being shed, or major fur flying.

I would let Lily have a place she can go to get away from Sonny if she wants. Maybe put her in your bedroom for awhile and close the door (but don't forget about her!). Give her some special kitty treats once in a while and some 'quality time' just with her.

You may want to think about getting a cat about the same age and personality as Sonny to give him a playmate to burn up energy with. Cats need a companion to play kitty games with that humans can't do.

Feed the cats yummy cat treats periodically (like tuna or tinned sardines in oil, etc.) TOGETHER. That is so the cats will associate each other with something pleasant. Also getting a pet laser light (at PetSmart, Petco, etc.) is great for interaction between the cats. They can chase the 'little red bug' on the floor, ceilings, and walls, and they tend to forget about the other cat as they focus on the 'bug' which helps them be together 'quietly'

You may want to get Sonny and Lily some cat videos to watch. My cats love them!
Here is a link for them: (copy and paste the link)
http://petsittervideos.com/index.html

If you want more work, get Sonny an aquarium, a cage with some white mice, etc. for him to watch and try to catch.

Put a couple of ping pong balls in the bathtub (cover the drain though because they get stuck). The cat can slip and slide chasing the balls and they don't lose them.

These are some suggestions. Stimulate Sonny and give him ways to burn off energy. If he wasn't a happy and healthy cat he would not act like he does!

Tabbi