Expert: Dear Tabbi - 9/1/2009

Question
We have two cats one is outgoing nice always loves you and sleeps next to you. Our other is so shy it hardly eats or drinks, always afaid never comes to you hides behind the couch the whole time,never wants to be held or praised. Sometimes he gets kind of a OCD personality then he will begin to make chirping sounds and flip out, hyperventalate, eyes dialated we have to give him catnip half the time to calm him down. He has major axiety problems. I feel bad I just want to comfort him but he just freaks out. We've had him for over a year and the behavior just doesn't get better I want to give him away but I feel sorry for him. I don't know what to do?

Answer
Ella,

Your 'scardy' cat is a typical feral cat. Keeping a feral can be difficult. They take special handling and understanding because of their hereditary baggage and emotional problems they can have from it. Some will NEVER trust humans. It depends on the age of the feral. The older the cat is the less chance you have of taming it. It's not you, it's the cat. Don't feel bad about it.

I have 3 ferals (2 years old) that I have had since birth. One, if she hears a strange noise or sees someone, she will run under the bed and hide for HOURS. No one visiting me has ever seen her! They are all loving but I can't hold them for more than a minute before they are struggling to get away. I understand how they are so I don't force it, and I know that is the way they are always going to be.

Ferals CAN become affectionate and loving, but it takes a LONG time for them to reach that point. And it takes a lot of time, patience, and love. And when they do they do, they still do not like to be held, restrained, and rarely even petted. There is human distrust inherited and inbred into them. They will never be a typical housecat. They also usually only bond with one person. They usually will always remain skittish and frightened of strangers and noises, or sudden movements.

I would keep his a bowl of food and water behind the couch for him so he doesn't have to come out if he doesn't want to. He more than likely comes out at night when everyone is asleep and he feels 'safe'.  He probably enjoys looking out the window too at night.

When you have a feral that doesn't like to be touched....don't. Respect how the cat is and accept it. It will make for a happier living situation. They are very sensitive, so do not yell at them and never hit them! You can undo any trust you have built up. They react to the tone of your voice. If the cat is happiest hiding then let it. You aren't going to change the cat's basic personality, and trying to make it a sociable cat won't work and it will just stress out the cat.

They will play and act goofy at times because they need to burn up energy. They are natural hunters and enjoy being able to do it. They are happiest being able to be an indoor/outdoor cats. If you keep them inside all the time then you have to satisfy that hunting urge inside to keep them mentally well-balanced. Giving them a raw beef rib bone (I have the butcher cut them in half) satisfies the "fresh kill'. Plus the fibers help clean their teeth. They need stuffed toy mice you can throw so they can chase it and "catch" it. A pet laser light is great for letting them try to catch the "little red bug" on the walls, floors, and ceilings. Mine love little sparkly craft balls that you can get in a package at Wal-Mart or a crafts store. Putting a couple of ping pong balls in the bathtub (plug the drain or they will get stuck) is something else they like.

There is a calming aid that you can put in your cat's water that is very popular called Bach's Rescue remedy. You can get it at a health food store (people use it too) or on-line. It calms a cat using natural ingredients and people swear by it. More information can be found at these websites: (copy and paste, or type, the whole links into your address bar)

http://www.bachflower.com/Pets.htm
http://www.nelsonbach.com/BFE_for_pets.html
http://www.petsynergy.com/flower.html
http://www.oes.org/page1/Bach-Rescue-Remedy.html

I hope this helps you understand your cat a little better.

Tabbi

EDIT: Addition to previous answer

Here is a link that has a good 4-part article on ferals that should also be of help to you.
(copy and paste, or type, the whole link into your address bar)

http://petplacestation.com/articles/?tag=carol-jacobi&paged=2

One thing about having feral cats is that even one minor step in gaining your cat's trust or getting even a little affection from them can make your whole day! (smile)

Remember too, that food is one key to ferals bonding with you. The other keys are time and patience...lots of it! If not done already, spaying and neutering is also important if you are able to get it done.