Expert: Dear Tabbi - 9/18/2009

Question
Dear Tabbi

I rescued my cat when he was 3 months old and he is now over a year (he is neutered).  He has always been the sweetest,perfect cat...since day one.  He was affecionate toward everyone, never afraid of strangers, and never showed a hint of aggression that is, until my sister had her baby.  When the baby was first brought into the house, my cat was completely fine with her.  When she would cry, he just looked around and then when back to watching the birds outside his window.  Then one day, he was sniffing at her stroller and he began to hiss while my father patted him (as he was snffing the stoller).  My dad disciplined my cat for hissing at him by tossing him (gentley) away from the baby and ignoring him.  Later when my sister approached him, he did the same thing. Now every time my sister comes over with the baby, he hisses.  He first direction this reaction to the babay only becuase he let my sister hold him, but now he hiss at my sister as well.  He shows NO aggression or frustration to my dad.  My mother (wanting to protect the baby) now forces my cat into my bedroom whenever my sister and the baby come to vist; which is about 3 days out of the week.  My cat is locked up ALL day (which I HATE!!)and I know it is stressing him out.  We still give him attention and he gets to be out of my room during the entire night (from about9:30pm-9:am).  I am with him in the room, but he used to be able to roam the whole house and now he gets locked up.  His frustration toward my sister and her baby is only getting worse.  Now, when she just enters the room or he notices she is there, he begins to hiss.  He just watchs her.  If I interact with him during this time, he 180's and shows me affection and purrs. ????.  He is also now getting upset at my mother becuase she is always locking him up.  He is beginning to associate being held with being locked up.  What can I do for my cat?  I want him to be okay with the baby around.  I know he is stressed out and he cannot continue to be locked up whenever my sister and her baby come to visit.  Please help!!!  I wish I could read his mind and know what he wants from me.

Answer
Melissa,

The interaction between the cat and baby started off bad. The hissing is a normal reaction, and not necessarily out of meanness. The cat smelled the baby who 'smelled different' and the cat didn't trust it yet, and the cat was involved in smelling the baby when your dad scared him and disciplined him. Now the cat has a negative experience associated with the baby. And he also associates getting locked up with the baby. You need to start over.

Under supervision let the cat sniff the baby if he wants to....it's normal curiosity about something different, and he hisses because he's not sure what this living 'thing' is. Let the cat come around the baby in it's own time. Hissing is just kitty communication and doesn't mean he is going to harm to baby....unless the baby suddenly swats him (and then he probably would just run). The cat will eventually lose interest in the baby, or start to avoid it. I personally wouldn't lock the cat up.

Jealousy is a trait that many cats never exhibit until a baby is around. When a baby is around a cat may develop certain problem behaviors as a way of getting your attention. To rid your cat of the problem of jealousy, introduce him to the baby or child, making sure the introduction is slow and carefully supervised. Also, do your best not to ignore your cat when a baby is around. A little attention will go along way in helping your kitty to feel wanted and loved.

Here are a some links to read about cats and babies, though they are more geared towards having a new baby in the home, but they can give you some insight:
(copy and paste, or type the whole links into your address bar)

http://www.sthuberts.org/petpouri/articles/catmeetsbaby.asp

http://westwoodanimalhospital.com/BhvArticles/Infants,%20Children,%20And%20Cats....

http://www.petplace.com/cats/helping-your-cat-and-new-baby-get-along/page1.aspx

I hope this helps.

Tabbi