Cat Training and Behavior (Domestic and Feral)/affection from cat

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Expert: Dear Tabbi - 9/10/2009


Question
Hello!

My daughter got a cat from a shelter two years ago and I have a question about her behavior.  This cat is VERY even tempered, we've had her since she was weaned, and will allow my daughter to do anything to her.  I think she would even tolerate being dressed in baby clothes and put in a stroller!  She sleeps on my daughter's bed every night and comes when my daughter calls her.

She does NOT tolerate my youngest daughter at all.  She will bite or slap if my youngest tries to pet her.  My husband will pick the cat up and pester her and she does nothing.

Now, when it comes to me, she will actively seek out my affection.  She will jump on me, rub around my face, poke at my hand to be pet, licks me, purrs and lays in my lap.  She doesn't do this with anyone else. Sometimes she's very determined with her affection.

When we first got her I didn't like her at all.  She was a lot of trouble, very mischievous and I was used to my cat who is much older and more sedate.  She's not a bad cat and I've gotten to like her.  I am usually the one that feeds her and cleans out the litter box.

My question is, why am I targeted for affection?  Is this some sort of pecking order that she's following?  Is it because I am the 'food bringer'?  I don't mind, I'm just curious as to why I've been designated as the affection-giver.

Thanks for any insight you could provide.

Holly

Answer
Holly,

You answered your own question...."I am usually the one that feeds her and cleans out the litter box". Cats from shelters a lot of times have one parent that was feral. A feral cat is known for bonding with one person specifically, and that is usually their 'caregiver'.

Your younger daughter may have a 'smell' about her that the cat does not trust which could explain the behavior with her...or the fact that she is too energetic which cats also do not trust. And cats too, like people, can have 'personality clashes' with each other and/or with humans. I would suggest that for harmony, that your younger daughter just ignore the cat. Cats hate to be ignored and that my cause the cat to come to HER for affection or attention.

Tabbi  

Cat Training and Behavior (Domestic and Feral)

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Dear Tabbi

Expertise

My expertise is in helping people understand their cat (or cats) and their behavior. Questions are welcome even if you don't have a cat....just a question about them. Hopefully my experience, suggestions, and comments will be of help to you...and your cat (or cats). Looking through my past responses to questions will give you additional information and/or answers too. Domestic Cats = cats (no matter what breed) who are tame or not wild, or abandoned cats who were pets that became wild, but can be tamed again. Ferals = cats who are born with one or more parents who were wild stray cats. They usually have had no interactions with people. They have an inbred distrust of humans and are difficult to socialize. They are skittish, hide, and are afraid of people. They take a lot of time and patience to work with them. A lot of kittens from shelters had a feral parent.

Experience

Since I was a child, over 45 years, I have been owned by a LOT of cats and kittens of almost every temperament, behavior, and personality. I have had experience with neurotic, disabled (including blind), stray, and 'problem child' cats and kittens. (A few normal cats too!) Plus all the things a lifetime of owning cats and research has taught me. I also have experience in feral cat behavior (which is different from domestic cats), and some experience with feral colonies that includes colony feeding and feral cat TNR (trap/neuter/release).

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