Expert: Brandy - 1/8/2007

Question
Hi

We have a 9 year old neutered male cat, who is friendly, but a little timid, and not used to being around other cats (he is usually hostile to neighbourhood cats). We had not intended to get another cat, but a friend suddenly needed a new home for his 15 year old(spayed)female cat, who is also unused to other cats, so we agreed to take her in.
We gave her her own room (complete with food, litter box etc), and after a week alone, she seemed to be settling in well, so we introduced her to our male cat, who had been showing signs of curiosity. He approached her in a wary but quite friendly manner, but she immediately began hissing and growling at him, and swiped at him when he got too close. Since then we've allowed them to see each other for a few minutes one or twice a day, as well as swapping their scents with a cloth & allowing her out of of her room to see the rest of the house when he's outside. We've also bought a Feliway diffuser, but have only had it for a week, which I suppose may not be long enough to see any benefits. Each time they see each other, she has continued to be hostile towards him, until he runs away (which is usually very quickly!).
I know this kind of behaviour is to be expected initially, but was wondering how long it might take for her to learn to be around him without showing this defensive behaviour? I'm a little concerned as he is now showing some signs of stress, and I don't want him to feel so uncomfortable in his own home! (we do try to give him lots of extra attention & reassurance). Should we let them spend more time together?

Thanks in advance for any help - it's much appreciated!

Answer
I would continue to do what you are already doing...introducing them gradually. First you have a 9-YO male who has apparently been an only cat for a while, now to have a 15-YO (extremely geriatric, in some circles) with the same issues, PLUS now in a new home.

They both need some time. They may never do the snuggle-together thing, but could, as some of mine do, tolerate each other. Having their own special spaces will go far in getting them to both feel secure in the same house.

Just picture a pair of senior citizens, each with their own routines, having to move in together. It will take time for each to mellow out to the other, so spend some one on one time with each cat to get them used to the fact that at least you are there.

You're doing fine. The cats will figure things out on their own time (which is different than normal time). ;-)