Expert: Kay Cole - 8/31/2010

Question
QUESTION: Hi,
My SO and I have just set our wedding date for October of 2011, and we're considering self-catering it since we'll be holding the wedding and reception in our back yard. We are still in the early stages of planning, but will more than likely have over 125 people attending. We're being very very frugal for the wedding and non-traditional--no white dress, secular ceremony, no plated dinner, no white paper bells. Our goal is to have an evening garden wedding that feels like a party with a band, lanterns in the trees, canning jars on the tables with wildflowers, vintage serving dishes, paper garlands criss-crossing the yard, etc.

Now for the questions: I've heard that a dessert buffet is the cheapest way to go for a wedding reception--is that true? I wanted to make things beforehand and then freeze them--is it possible to do this and have things taste just as good once they are thawed? If so, how far in advance can I make items and freeze them? What items would work well this way? What other items can I offer that are "non-dessert" besides cheese, crackers and fruit (either items that can be frozen or not)? How do I estimate portions? I'd appreciate all advice you can give. Oh, and I do have people who would help closer to our wedding date and am willing to hire some neighborhood teenagers to be "wait staff" for the day to keep tables cleared, etc.

ANSWER: I think the non-traditional sounds smart and fun...I have a couple of questions before I answer your specific questions..  What time are you planning the wedding itself? Is it after typical dinner hour? What type beverages would you serve?  Let me get a better feel for what you are doing before I suggest items and quantities.

People to help...kids to pick up etc. would be great...however, you will need someone other than you and/or the groom to be in charge - the overseer - someone you could trust to do the job and not just enjoy the party - like a sister???...I would wait until closer to the date to ask any helpers...they will probably all agree now - and who knows this far ahead of time what could be going on in people lives.

Are you a garage sale goer? If not, you need to start a new Sat. morning routine! You have time to find everything you need for the event for pennies! Including the tablecloths, serving dishes etc...not to mention - neater stuff than you could find in a department store today.

K

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: We want to have the wedding in the evening, but not too late to be respectful of our friends/family who have small children. So we were maybe thinking of doing it around 6 or 6:30--this is negotiable, though, based on what would need to be served etiquette-wise. We'd be serving some sort of punch (I have two punch bowls already) and at least wine and beer, if not a full bar, plus coffee, tea, etc. etc.

Another question I thought I should ask is WHEN is the food put out? I understand not having the cake or desserts available before the ceremony, but because this is going to be more casual than most weddings, I'd like to help set up the food before the wedding and just have people enjoy it throughout the night. Is that ok? I've told people I don't want them feeling like they have to buy something new to wear to my wedding (I won't be and I'm the bride!) and by the same token, doesn't matter to me if they're having a bite to eat before the ceremony begins either.

Kansas City has a TON of second hand stores, so I will be planning to hit those as well as garage sales and estate sales on a regular basis (you hit it right on the money!)

My older sister has volunteered to help, but she lives in CA, so I'm going to ask friends that live here in MO to help. But your advise to wait makes sense, so I'll do just that.

I look forward to your response! Thanks!

Answer
I do like the dessert buffet idea...but, am having a problem with it for a 6PM wedding...some things to think about: your guests will not have had dinner before they come - they leave their house for your event at 5:30PM...start dressing at 4:30PM (even in an old dress)- at 6:30PM, they are going to start getting hungry and eat up whatever you have.  Also, the guests are going to expect at least heavy hors d'oeuvres since the time is during dinner hours. Plus, if you are having a band...my assumption is that you plan for friends to hang around into the evening.

If I were you, and if I definitely just wanted a dessert deal - I would consider moving the time back.

Another thought is to do hors d'oeuvres - since you will be doing the prep and work yourself in advance...you can still do inexpensively with dips - cheese and fruit - vegetables - maybe a couple of hot items like meatballs, or something with some substance that can be done in advance and just heated up. I really think that you can do this for less than you think.

As far as for when to put the food out...I would have no problem with it out before the wedding..or at least some of it.  I do recommend that IN ADVANCE you lay it all out - put the empty trays where you plan on them going, etc.  To see if you have either holes on the buffet or not enough space. And, you can correct your plan in advance. Also, if someone else is actually placing the items - they will know right where to drop the serving platters.

Some thoughts to think about....if you used round serving tables - not necessarily big 60" rounds - but, you can rent smaller ones..put a different vintage tablecloth on each one (make sure it goes to the floor) or use a white floor length and top with a vintage square. I am not suggesting you buy or rent floor length cloths - you can get some old white sheets at a garage sale and puddle those...then add the vintage tablecloth on top...only a bit of the sheet will show. How darling would that be with your mis-matched vintage serving platters? Just make sure that your vintage covers compliment each other...and, you can match the serving pieces with a particular cloth. Also, you could have one or two tables with food on it before the guests arrive with items such as crudities and cheeses and fruits.  The other - perhaps hot items could be added as the guests are mingling into the reception area after the ceremony. Your big sister can do that pretty easily as they will be ready to plop down and she will know right where to put them since you two had placed earlier.

Here are just a couple of hints that I think presents better and creates a lot less prep....use either wheels of cheese or chunks - don't go to the trouble of cubing the cheeses. Use fruits ie: strawberries and grapes that you do not have to cut up - plus easier for people to eat with fingers.  If I were you, I would not touch a watermelon baller!  I would have a whole table of cheeses and fruits and crackers and breads...one type cheese per tray or platter (your vintage home platters are going to be smaller than typical buffet serving pieces anyway)

If you asked me what you should serve, I would suggest...
Table #1 - set out before the guests arrive:
~ Cheddar cheese wedge garnished with green grapes
~ A large Brie cheese garnished with red grapes
~ A chunk of Havarti cheese with some cubes coming off of it, garnished with strawberries
~ Perhaps another wedge of a cheese that you see when shopping
You might need to have some back ups on these cheeses for 150 - depends on how much you put out to begin with.
~ Bowls of assorted crackers (get some fancy ones, I would not mix...but, have 3 or 4 bowls of one type per bowl.)
~ Basket or bowl of sliced baguettes (3 - sliced thin would probably do) (buy an electric knife if you do not have one at an estate sale for this job - will make a cleaner looking slice - not to mention that you can knock this job out in 5 minutes!)
~Perhaps a silver bowl of whole fresh cherries - or other fruit in season at the time.

Table #2 (Set out food perhaps shortly after guests are reception mingling - let them already have eaten some cheeses and filled up a bit!)
Hot Crab and Artichoke Dip with bagel chips or some such -
Teriyaki Meatballs or some such.
A 3rd platter for this table - perhaps little ham or turkey sandwiches on mini rolls???

Table #3 - near your wedding cake with your little desserts - I would have someone set these out right before the cake cutting ceremony.

Perhaps for the punches - an apple cider since you are in October...that is an easy one to prepare...pour into the bowl!

Not sure if I have helped here...some food for thought.
k