Expert: George A. Card,sfo, M.I - 3/12/2004

Question

1- I visit my father twice a year only in Christmas and Easter. I never visit, call or talk to him except in these two occasions; is that OK or is that wrong ?

2- Muslims put a great emphasis on kissing their father's and mother's hands; they say that is very important in order for you to receive God's graces and in fulfilling the commandment that orders us to honor our father and mother, and God will bless you with all types of blessing if you kiss their hands. They say that the most successful and great business men who were able to succeed in their life were those people who used to kiss their father and mother hands regularly and outside in public, also they say that if you don't want to feel pain in your life, you must make your father and mother feel satisfied.
I tried to kiss my mother's hand, but I felt very shy and I could not do it. What do you think about that ?

3- Do I have to treat my grandfather and grandmother the same way I should treat my father and mother ? Do I have to honor all of them similarly ? Do I have to provide help, material, moral, and mental support for all of them in similar amounts? What if I am not able to provide material, and mental support for myself, how can I provide it for others if I lack that?


Answer
                  Shalom!!

Dear Samuel--

#1 and #3 The commandent is to honor your mother and father, however I belive it applies all those who lawful authority in service to us. People of authority should excerise it in a spirit of service. We honor them by doing good for them according to God's Will and His charity towards us.
#2 As for the "Muslim" practiced of kissing the parents, I would need a bit more details. Yet, I feel it could be a means to invoking them to bless, then I would say it a good thing.

                             Your servant but His First
                                       george