Expert: Fr. Timothy Johnson - 1/10/2008

Question
Hello, I believe I may be in a quandry.  I was raised Catholic and received the sacraments of Reconciliation, Baptism, and Confirmation in the Catholic church.  I was married in 2003 (my first marriage) to a non-catholic, largely non-religous man (it is his second marriage - he was divorced several years beofre and his first marriage was a civil ceremony).  Our ceremony in 2003 was officiated by a Unitarian Universalist minister who is a personal friend; I have never attended services at a Unitarian Universalist church.  I still consider myself to be Catholic and attend mass every week.  Neither my husband nor I can have children (medical issues in both cases) and we were both well aware of this fact before we got married.  Thus there will be no children from this marriage.  I still feel like a Catholic - does the Church still consider me a Catholic?  Does the Church see me as married or unmarried, since I have not received the Sacrament of Marriage in the Catholic Church.  If that is the case what can I do about it now?  Thank you very much.

Answer
Hi, Christine:
Wow - you have waited almost 5-years to look into this isuue?  I guess that it could be said "better late than never..."
Regardless of how Catholic you may feel, I suppose that it can safely be said that you have certainly been a disobedient Catholic these past years.  You need to start making a move beyond the internal dictatorship of subjectivism and moral relativism...  I hope that I can help to guide you by objective Church teaching and discipline.
As a Catholic, you were bound by "Canonical Form" - meaning that to be a Catholic-in-good-standing, and to enter into a lawful marriage, you needed to approach the Catholic authority (usually Parish Priest) with your circumstances and get the marriage preparation and any necessary permissions or dispensations from some of the details of "Canonical Form."  Unless you approached the Priest back in 2003, and got the necessary permissions and dispensations, then your current marriage is considered unlawful in the eyes of the Catholic Church, and as having no Sacramental force.
Does not matter whether or not you are able to actually bear children, as long as you are doing nothing directly to prevent conception, and it just happens to be the way that it is.
Seems that since your husband had been married perviously, there could be a Tribunal Case in the works for looking into getting a decree of nullity (anullment).
It would be important to know whether or not your husband is a baptized, or an unbaptized person.
The best thing to do about the matter now is approach a local Priest or Parish that is set up and geared to deal with these kind of issues as a matter of course.  For some parishes this could be a hardship due to lack of personnel and staff to assist with such matters: not a matter of an unwillingness to help, but the reality of time and work.
Until the status of your husband's previous marriage can be dealt with, then you will be able to see about maybe getting a "convalidation" of your current marriage.  There are no guarantess; but the process is certainly worth looking in to.
What got the ball rolling on this issue for you?  Are you looking to undertake the path of penance and true conversion back to the proper practice of your Catholic Faith?
Present yourself to Jesus, and ask Him to free you from the spirit of bondage to personal opinions and ideas foreign to the Truth of the Catholic Faith.  Then you will be able to begin to be open to hearing and receiving the guidance of the authority of the Church that Jesus Christ established to preach, govern, and sanctify.  Maybe you did not receive a good Catholic education and formation in your youth; but now it is time to "wake up" and start the proper formation in earnest.  I think that there has been historically an omission of informing CCD students of the 6th Precept of the Church to obey the laws of the Church concerning Marriage.  I always tell my 7-12 graders: If and when you have any plan or idea to getting married, the FIRST person you need to approach about your plan with all of your circumstances is the Parish Priest.  I get a lot of flack from the aging liberals in my parishes for this simple approach - it is as if I have just gone overboard and radically fanatical.  Haha!

Fr. Timothy Johnson